Please Save My Angel
by ErinInWonderland30
Summary: After leaving Walford four years ago, Ronnie Mitchell now has a little girl but she isn't as happy as you would expect. Her daughter has a brain tumour and nobody knows yet if it's fatal! Will this mean yet more heartbreak for this tragic heroine?
1. Chapter 1 Ronnie's New Life

**Hey everyone! It's Erin! Now, don't panic! I haven't given up on my other fic (A Message from the Past), an update for that should be up this week, but this is a new one I'm trying. This is basically about Ronnie Mitchell but set four years ahead of now. Ronnie has started a new life away from Walford after the pressures of life in Albert Square became too much for her. However, being Ronnie Mitchell, trouble isn't far behind and things are about to get far more dramatic than they have ever been before.....**

Ronnie Mitchell had been tossing and turning desperately, all night long. Her head was pounding, her muscles were aching and her eyes were sore and heavy and yet, she just couldn't settle down to sleep. Though how could she expect to sleep when she had so many unwanted thoughts and worries flowing through her head? There were so many things that needed to be done and so many horrible memories were trapped inside her brain. The words ran through her head like bullets piercing through her skin and penetrating her brain every five seconds. She just couldn't seem to get rid of these horrible thoughts.

"_You wanted something of your own? Well you had that didn't you, and look what happened there."_

"_You're losing it sweetheart and your baby sister is going down with you. But if you dare try to take away my Roxy and my little grandchild, I'll break you girl, I'll finish you for good."_

"_Don't bother looking in the streets for your little angel of a daughter because she's never going to be there. She's dead and there's nothing you can do about it."_

"_You're just like your dad. You're just like Archie. And you always will be. Cold, heartless and selfish."_

"_If I had known, I would never have sent you away, my little girl, please don't leave me now....Danielle."_

Ronnie's eyes shot open so fast, she thought they were going to burst out of her head. Those painful words from her sister and Dad ate away at her insides everyday. This pain confirmed that her decision to leave Walford four years ago had been the right one. She didn't think she could survive another minute there, surrounded by liars, cheats, snoops and people who believed that she had killed her own father. Even Jack lost faith in her after he discovered her piercing their condoms in an attempt to have a child of her own. That place had driven her to become a cold, distant woman who couldn't be trusted by anyone, even the ones she cared for the most. Jack, Roxy, and of course her dad Archie, who although, had been rotting, dead and buried under the ground for the past four years, was still controlling her every move and watching over her wherever she went.

But that didn't matter anymore. She had something that she had always wanted. The one thing that could make her happy. The one thing she had been dying for since that horrible day when her daughter Danielle had been killed....

Ronnie shot up in her bed. There was a noise coming from her bedroom door that had startled her, but it didn't take her long to work out what it was.

_'Come in sweetheart,'_ Ronnie whispered gently, blinking repeatedly to focus properly through the darkness.

The door slowly creaked open and from behind it emerged a small figure of a little girl, carrying a teddy bear and a torch which lit up her pale, tear-stained face, emphasising her crystal blue eyes, which were just like her mother's.

_'It's hurting again, Mummy,'_ wept the little girl, holding her hand forcefully against the side of her head which was obviously causing her severe pain.

_'Oh sweetheart, come here,'_ sighed Ronnie desperately, bending down and wrapping her arms around the child to bring her up on to the bed. _'It's alright, Mummy's here, you're safe now.' _settling them both down underneath the warm covers.

The little girl buried herself deep into her mother's warm body and inhaled deeply. She felt safer now that she was in the embrace of her mother but she just couldn't ignore the pain flowing deeply through her head.

Ronnie stroked her daughter's head back and forth repeatedly to calm her down and try to soothe her back to sleep and and as the little girl closed her eyes gently and began to dream, Ronnie planted a kiss softly on her cheek and covered her with the blanket, securing her in a comforting, soft, sanctuary. Nothing could harm a child of hers anymore. This was the safest that both of them had felt in a long time and it made Ronnie smile in the darkness to know that she could forget about Walford and her family for five minutes and enjoy this moment of calmness and sanctuary with her baby girl.

However, as Ronnie stroked her daughter's head gently as the little girl fell back to sleep, Ronnie couldn't ignore the horrible reality that her baby wasn't safe. She didn't know if she ever would be. She didn't even know if her baby would be alive next week. Ronnie continued to stroke the toddler's head, tears pouring down her cheeks, desperately trying to make her daughter's headache go away. But, whatever Ronnie tried to do to make it stop would never work. She wasn't a doctor, and even the doctors didn't know what they could do to help. Nothing was certain, the world was horribly cruel and nothing was working. Ronnie's Mitchell's little girl had a horrific, deep, brain tumour. A brain tumour that was causing her so much pain and spreading so quickly that Ronnie didn't know if she was about to lose another one of her children for the fourth time. And there was nothing she could do to stop it. All she could do was comfort her daughter, tell her how much she loved her and pray every day that she wasn't about to go through the trauma yet again, of losing another one of her precious babies.....

**Thanks for reading guys! I hope you liked it! It's probably not as good as my other fic but I really hope you liked it and you understood the powerful emotion I was trying to convey. I hope the whole idea isn't too unrealistic or over-dramatic but I felt that I wanted to give Ronnie a child and yet give her more troubles to worry about! And don't worry, there will be flashbacks explaining Ronnie's departure and all about her daughter etc (because we don't even know her name yet :-D). And the little girl has CANCER! I know I'm so mean but it seemed like an interesting story to do. So please stay tuned for updates and please review because it makes all the difference! Thanks! :-) xxxx**


	2. Chapter 2 Dream World

***Much as I appreciate as many readers as possible, please do not read on if you do not wish to read a story with a childhood cancer theme. I do not wish to upset anyone so please do not read on if you think you will be badly affected by the plot. Thank you.***

**Hey guys! Thanks go to the five people who reviewed my first chapter! I hope it was okay and not too sad! I am going to be evil and not reveal the little girl's name, mainly because I haven't decided on one yet :-) and I want to keep you in suspense for the next chapter. Will Ronnie have named her after Danielle? What do you think? Do you think that is a good idea? :-)**

**And I know the question that a lot of you are probably thinking 'Who's the daddy?' Ah that would be telling! Ha ha! Is it Jack....or maybe Max.....or maybe it's a complete stranger. Who knows? You'll just have to wait and find out! Enjoy this chapter! Please review and I will update quickly! xxx**

"_Hello, Forest Lane Primary School, Claire speaking, how can I help?"_ asked a kindly woman from the other end of Ronnie Mitchell's mobile phone.

"_Yes, hello, I'm phoning in to let you know that my daughter will not be attending school today due to illness," _Ronnie Mitchell answered calmly, speaking as if her daughter only had a simple common cold as opposed to a possibly terminal cancer.

"_Okay then, I'll just need to take your daughter's name and details for the school register,"_ replied the woman in a surprisingly cheery, positive voice for a Monday morning. It made Ronnie sigh as she realised that she couldn't remember the last time she had sounded that happy towards anyone but her daughter, whom she knew she had to remain positive for.

Ronnie glanced into her bedroom where her daughter was still sleeping quietly, as she reeled off her name and address and so many other things that she wasn't concentrating on and wasn't aware she was saying. It made a smile emerge slowly from her face as she watched her four year old's chest rise up and down repetitively and slowly as she slept. She looked so peaceful and beautiful. Ronnie realised just how brave her little girl was. She hardly ever complained and if she did feel unhappy, like she had last night, then it was only for a short time before she was smiling again and telling Ronnie how much she loved her.

"_And I just have to ask, when do you think your daughter will be returning to school?"_ asked the secretary, shuffling papers as she spoke.

"_Em, I'm not sure, probably around....,"_ Ronnie stopped dead in her tracks as she caught sight of something from her bedroom. _"Oh my god....em...I have to go, I'm really sorry,"_ gushed Ronnie hurriedly, pressing cancel on the mobile, dropping it on the ground and dashing furiously into the bedroom.

"_Oh sweetie, it's alright, come here,"_ breathed Ronnie, picking her daughter up and lying her flat on her back on the bedroom floor. The little girl was shaking violently, her legs locking into a completely straight position and her little, blues eyes furiously rolling back into her head.

Another symptom of the brain tumour.... seizures.....

"_Come on sweeheart, that's it,"_ whispered Ronnie, shakily, stroking her daughter's head, desperately trying to calm her until the seizure stopped. It was heart-wrenching to watch this happening to her little girl. She always got so upset after she came out of a fit. She never knew when it was going to happen. It felt so strange that Ronnie had only a few minutes ago, been watching the little girl sleep peacefully for the first time in many nights and now she was trying to hold the girl's head up to stop her choking on her tongue as she shook violently and ferociously for the next few minutes.

"_That's it baby, well done, it's all over now,"_ whispered Ronnie, kissing her daughter on the forehead, and desperately trying to hold back the tears as the little girl slowly stopped shaking and her eyes gently began to re-open.

"_You are my big, brave girl, you know that?"_ smiled Ronnie, down towards the little girl, using all her strength and might to hold back the tears that she knew were about to escape from her eyes at any moment.

Ronnie sighed painfully as she realised the extent of this particular seizure. All of them were bad ones but Ronnie could tell that this one had been particularly awful as the little girl could barely tell where she was or if her mum was even there. Her eyes continued to circle round the room as if she was desperately trying to establish her surroundings without much success, the fear ignited powerfully in her eyes.

"_Oh darling, don't worry, Mummy's here, Mummy's going to look after you forever and ever,"_ sighed Ronnie trying to let her know that her mummy was going to be by her side as long as she needed her.

And then a small smile emerged from her daughter's face, beaming back up at her mum, a sense of relief flooding over her face.

"_Come on darling, let's get you back into bed,"_ whispered Ronnie, cradling her daughter in her arms, carefully placing her back into the double bed and securing her gently underneath the covers. A small sigh emerged from the girl and within moments, her little eyes had given in to her exhaustion and she was soon fast asleep, escaping to a world where there was no such thing as cancer.

Ronnie smiled at the sight of her daughter slowly falling into dream land. Sleep was the best thing she could get. The only thing that would allow her to forget for just a moment. Ronnie leaned forward and gently planted a kiss on her daughter's forehead. She stroked her soft, rosy cheek and stood up to admire her.

Ronnie had considered leaving her daughter to sleep peacefully on her own to get some proper rest but after what had just happened, she couldn't. This little girl needed someone to watch over her and there was no one else who could do it but her mum. Ronnie climbed up on to the bed beside the little girl and laid her head down on the pillow. She felt extremely tired as well and knew that she should also try to sleep. She gently grasped her daughter's soft, warm hand to remind her that she was still there and slowly closed her eyes, watching the same image of her daughter until the darkness surrounded her eyes and she too slipped into a peaceful dream world, where no one would ever be able to hurt them both....

They were both safe together, bounded in a sanctuary of love. Protected.

But for how long......?

**Hey guys! Thanks for reading! I think the ending was kind of rushed because I have to go out but I really hope you liked it and felt the emotion! Please review and I will update quickly!**


	3. Chapter 3 A Can of Lemonade

**Hey guys! Chapter 3 is now up! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far. Some people have been asking for some Rack (Ronnie and Jack) in this fic but there will not be any introduction of a male romance interest just yet I'm afraid or the reveal of Ronnie's daughter's Father. I can promise you though that I will reveal the little girl's name in the next chapter! Don't get too hyped up as it might just be a let-down for you but I hope you enjoy this chapter and please review if you can! xxx**

Ronnie Mitchell cracked a can of lemonade open extremely slowly, desperately trying not to hurt her sore fingers where she had bitten the nails down to measly thin stubs from her worry and angst. She shook the can around in a circle several times, close to her face, inhaling the familiar smells of the lemon; the can so close, that she could almost feel minute bubbles rising from it's opening and making contact with her cheeks. She sighed heavily – something she did often, usually when she was alone, in complete silence, with only the sounds being of her worries whizzing through her body like rivers of acid – and so the face of the can became instantly foggy from the moisture of her breath. Ronnie swirled her finger round and round the top of the can to clear away the fog, wishing that it was that easy to clear away all of her worries and troubles and placed it down on the kitchen worktop, ready to give to her daughter when she awoke from her recent nap. It was an unusual favourite of the little girl's; flat lemonade. A rare thing occurred at that moment when Ronnie laughed out loud to herself – something she hadn't done in a long time – at the remembrance of the day when the little girl had told her mum her reasoning for not enjoying a proper fizzy drink. The enjoyable memory came flooding back to Ronnie as she opened up a can of lemonade for herself and slowly took a sip, the burning sensation of the fizz cascading down through her lips and tickling her throat as it progressed to make contact with her lower insides.

"_Ouch Mummy," exclaimed the little girl, hurriedly placing her glass of juice on the floor and clasping both of her hands to her face, sheltering her nose._

_Ronnie went straight into panic mode. She jumped up from the couch beside her daughter and placed both of her hands on the little girl's face, trying to hold her steady to examine what was wrong._

"_Oh darling, what's the matter?" asked Ronnie speedily, her heart pounding right to the edge of her chest with fright and her eyes welling up in fear that this was the time for the fatal hospital dash that she had been terrified about making, but she was ready to sprint for all she was worth to fetch whatever her daughter needed to overcome this particular symptom of her cancer. "Do you need your painkillers, honey?" questioned Ronnie, desperate to get an answer as soon as possible so as not to waste precious time._

"_No, Mummy, you're so silly," squealed the little girl in delight, in hysterics at the sight of her mother in such panic about something so silly._

"_Wait a minute, what are you talking about sweetheart?" asked Ronnie, her voice submerged in a confused tone. "You're in pain, aren't you?" "Is it your poor head again?"_

"_No silly," replied the little girl, her voice absolutely ignited in happiness. "The fizzies in my drink went up my nose," laughed the girl, rolling back into the couch as she squealed in hysterics. "They tickled my nose and I didn't like it,"_

_Ronnie was astounded at how funny her daughter was. She was about to burst into fits of laughter just like the little girl and enjoy the unique moment where the word cancer didn't matter, but she held it back in order to have a little fun of her own._

"_Oh really, it tickled did it, it must have been so annoying?" replied Ronnie, leading the child on, in an affectionate, apparently clueless voice. The little girl nodded furiously in agreement, her eyes alite with excitement._

"_Well now, and I'm only guessing here, did this tickly feeling feel something like this?" And at that moment, the room was filled to the brim and bursting with the sound of a young child's infectious, mood-enlightening laughter as her mother tickled her around her stomach and underneath her chin, making her laugh harder than she had done in such a long time._

_Ronnie was so unbelievably happy as she watched her daughter roll hysterically around on the couch, begging her to stop but at the same time enjoying and savouring this rare moment of cheeriness. Ronnie wished that time would slow down, just for a moment, to allow her to keep them both locked in this sanctuary of positivity and happiness because Ronnie was fully aware that it wouldn't be long before the cruel cancer time bomb gave in and another terrifying seizure or uncontrollable nose bleed was set off in her daughter's body and sent floods of tears falling from both the victim and witness's eyes. Why them? Why now? Why anyone at all?_

_But Ronnie couldn't focus on that right now. Whether or not time-travel really existed, she knew she had to savour these precious happy moments greatly as though they would never come again. And as another joyful, precious laughter escaped from her daughter's mouth, Ronnie Mitchell realised what a special and brave little girl she had. Nothing was going to take her away from her, take that happiness away from her and no one was certainly going to cause her daughter pain, so long as she could stop it....._

Ronnie's eyes burst open and she sat up hurriedly, a pain twinging in her neck as she realised she had been too eager to wake up out of the dream. She realised as soon as she had sat up, that she had fallen asleep at the kitchen table as she had remembered that sacred memory, but she wasn't sure what had disturbed this precious sleep. Until she looked beside her at the table. Her mobile phone was vibrating repeatedly, the inside of the phone almost screaming to deliver the important message. Ronnie shakily picked up the phone, still half-trapped in the dream world and opened it up. It was an alarm reminder that she had set for herself. A reminder which she was glad she had made. A reminder that ultimately confirmed that she had been brought back to reality.

_**ALARM:**_

_**12.30pm**_

_**M.R.I. Scan**_

_**Forest Way Children's Hospital**_

And so the cycle resumed. Ronnie sighed heavily at the thought of her situation. Would either of them be freed from this awful disease? Would her daughter ever lead a normal life? Would she see her daughter grow to be an adult? These questions were trapped in Ronnie's head 24/7 and nothing she could do would shut them out. It looked like they would remain there forever, growing larger and stronger every time her daughter had a seizure or collapsed in the school playground and nothing could stop them from smothering them both. But for now, the main, most important question in Ronnie's mind was:

"**Would this brain scan show up any new, or even fatal brain tumours?"**

Thanks again for reading guys! I've just read this back and I can't believe I based the majority of this chapter on a can of lemonade! I'm so weird! I guess it was because it was 24° here today Glasgow and I was sitting outside writing this all day, sipping a can of Coke furiously in an attempt to cool myself down (without much success). I get my inspiration from the strangest places! :-D Anyway, please review and I hope you enjoyed it!


	4. Chapter 4 Wished For Child

**Hello everyone! Sorry it's been so long but with exams and everything that falls around the summer months I've been so busy but now IT'S THE SUMMER HOLIDAYS! Woo hoo! Well for Scotland anyway! Apologies to anyone who doesn't live in Scotland! :) But that means that updates for both of my fics should become more regular. I can't wait to get back into writing them both because it has been so long since I've updated. So thanks for your patience and thanks for reviewing! I am so grateful to everyone who has reviewed so far. However...**

**This chapter is dedicated to Ellis Watkinson! She is a fantastic, amazing friend and she has been through a lot lately! Thank you Ellis! Love you lots! I am thinking of you during this difficult time!**

**Thanks everyone!**

**Love Erin xxx**

"_The children's hospital, please," _said Ronnie to the taxi driver, practically in a whisper, almost in an attempt to shield the truth of their destination from her daughter.

"_Right, love," _replied the driver, waiting till the last second to drive off until he saw the elegant, blonde woman, strap her daughter's seatbelt in. He had two daughters himself and acknowledged the way that his latest customer saw to her child before making the relevant eye contact with him.

Though Ronnie was gracious towards his kindness, she winced at the word '_love'. _Strangely, that simple word reminded her awfully of her father. The husky voice, the easily detectable East End accent, the simple way that the word rolled off his tongue. Ronnie gripped her daughter's hand, making sure that she was safe in her grasp. The little girl had not met and never would meet her granddad but Ronnie felt his presence wherever she went, a presence that would crush her every waking existence if she didn't find the inner strength to block it out and she wasn't about to let it capture her little girl.

"_All ready back there?" _asked the driver, turning the key gently in the ignition.

Ronnie was about to say something to indicate for him to go when a sunny voice from beside her rang through her ears.

"_Yes, Mr Taxi Man," _cried Ronnie's daughter happily, leaning forward and laughing for really no reason at all.

Ronnie couldn't help but allow a massive smile to stretch over her face as she relished in this golden, sacred moment of happiness. It seemed cruel to allow it to happen just minutes before this bubbly, cheery little girl was to be put to sleep for an M.R.I. Scan but she knew it had to happen. She needed this scan. Both of them did. They needed to discover the truth. The truth about the brain tumours. Had they shrunk? Had they grown? But most importantly, had they become fatal?

Ronnie inhaled deeply, closed her eyes for a moment and tried to picture the future; a future where there was no such thing as cancer; a future without any hospital appointments or medication; a future where she could tell her beautiful baby girl that everything was going to be okay and could mean it without worrying that the tumour might just prove her wrong. But for now, nothing was certain, nothing was right and nothing could be promised.

Ronnie eyes slowly glazed down towards her daughter, whose eyes were gently opening and closing as she tried to fight back against her tiredness. It was 7.30am after all. Ronnie hated the early morning appointments, especially on days like these when neither of them had had enough sleep the previous night. Ronnie herself could barely keep her eyes open but it was even worse for a four year old. She decided to put her mind at peace.

"_Go to sleep, baby," _whispered Ronnie, stroking the little girl's soft blonde hair and taking her water bottle out of her hand.

The exhausted little girl didn't need another invitation and finally gave in and allowed her big, blue eyes to close slowly, allowing her to slip away back into her special dream land.

Ronnie smiled again at how easy it was for her daughter to be at peace. An impossible task for Ronnie. But now that the little girl had fallen asleep, she felt alone. Alone in this world, in the world that seemed determined to hurt her every waking moment.

Her mind glazed over the thought of where she had got herself in the last four years. She was indeed alone and had been for that long. It made Ronnie upset to think about the situation she had put herself in. She lived in a tiny flat, she had a job in which she only earned a pathetic excuse for a wage and she could never bring herself to relax properly because she knew that something horrible could happen to her little girl at any time and she was terrified that she wouldn't be able to do anything to stop it. Ronnie was trying desperately to hold back the tears that were slowly forming in her eyes. She couldn't let anyone see her cry. She couldn't let anyone see her breaking down. It would kill her if anyone broke through her protective barrier. No one would see her cry; no one at all.

And though Ronnie was determined to beat the tears on her own, she breathed a sigh of relief when the taxi driver broke her train of thought to tell her that they'd arrived at the hospital. Ronnie stared up at the grey stone building. The building whose walls were oozing with sadness and devastation. She hated bringing her daughter here to be thrown in to a pool of sadness, pulling her down lower and lower beneath the surface. But if it was for her own good then she had to go with it.

"_£4.20, love,"_ said the taxi driver, turning around to face Ronnie. She didn't even hear the awful word the second time round. She was too preoccupied with the thoughts of what was to happen later on that day, but the sudden click of the engine as the taxi drew to a halt outside the hospital doors jolted her brain into action.

Ronnie quickly pulled a ten pound note out of her purse and handed it to the driver. _"Thank you,"_ she said, almost in a whisper. She cleared her throat, not wanting to sound shy and timid.

"_Cheers,"_ replied the driver, smiling to Ronnie and then down to the little girl, whose eyes were slowly opening and closing as she awoke from her nap. _"Hope the little one gets on okay," _he continued quietly, gesturing up to the massive sliding doors of the children's hospital.

"_Thank you," _replied Ronnie softly, not wanting to wake the little girl properly just yet, wishing that her secure dream world could protect her 24/7.

She aimed a small, gentle smile at the taxi driver and slowly slid her arms under the little girl's warm body, lifting her up in her arms and cradling her in a soft cocoon, never wanting to let her go.

"_Here, let me get the door," _said the driver, hurriedly getting out the cab and opening the door to allow Ronnie to keep the little girl safe in her embrace.

"_Oh, thanks," _gushed Ronnie, slightly taken aback from this sudden wave of kindness from a total stranger. She spotted the five pound note that the driver had been ready to hand back held out in his open hand as she climbed out of the cab.

"_Keep it," _said Ronnie, smiling subtly, not wishing to say any more.

"_Are you su..?" _the driver started to ask, but Ronnie just nodded her head before the baffled man had a chance to refuse.

"_Thanks very much, eh...good luck...again...you know, with the wee one," _spluttered the driver, overcome with embarrassment.

Ronnie decided to release some of this discomfort from the man and so simply shot back a smile, hoisted her daughter further up her body and turned to face the building that was always a prominent feature in her nightmares. She sighed deeply. It was time, yet again, to face this horrible place. She jumped as she heard the taxi's engine ignite once again, but turned around. The driver gave her a small wave and a smile, but as quickly as he had come, he was soon driving away, ready to take someone else and be a part of their life story, just based on where they asked him to take them.

And so yet again, Ronnie was alone. Alone in this world. Alone in the world that seemed determined to make her life hell. The sleeping child in her arms was the only thing that reminded her that she wasn't dead. This little girl had given her hope, strength and stopped her from doing something entirely regrettable. She kissed her daughter's forehead and was immediately reminded of the best day of her life. The day she gave birth to her...

And yet again, at that time, she had been alone, by herself, with no one to hold her hand and tell her that everything was going to be okay. The only company she had were the stupid doctors, who dashed around her like headless chickens and shouted out random medical phrases that she didn't have a hope in hell of understanding. But Ronnie knew she couldn't give up. She knew she had to keep fighting for the baby that had been growing inside her for nine months. It was time for Ronnie to be granted the only wish that she had ever had. She was going to get her little girl and no one was going to stop her loving her...

"_Come on Ronnie, one last big push, I can see the head," shouted one doctor._

"_Yes, come on darling, you're almost there," said the midwife._

_Ronnie was in agony. Her vision was blurred. Her hearing was fading. She didn't know when the end of this terrible pain was going to come. And though there were plenty of doctors and nurses surrounding her bedside, the realisation that she was completely alone hit her every time she looked to her side and saw that no one was there to reassure her. She needed someone, anyone. Someone to hold her hand, kiss her head and tell her that everything was going to be okay. But it wasn't that simple. The scan had confirmed that everything wasn't okay. This baby had to be brought into the world **now. **Ronnie was terrified of what was going to happen to her little angel. She knew she wouldn't get to hold her child for very long before it was taken away from her again. The doctors had said this. It was an emergency. Nothing was certain. But no matter what the doctors had said, Ronnie was determined to see her baby and to name her before the cruel, horrible world took her away again. Nothing was going to stand between them both. She didn't need anyone beside her. She was going to get her wish and become a proper mother. She would never let anything happen to one of her children again. It was time..._

"_She's out Ronnie, it's a girl," cried the midwife, smiling down at the exhausted mother. _

_Ronnie could scarcely take it all in. A little girl. She had a little girl. Tears poured down her cheeks as the realisation hit her that she had a baby girl. Finally, after all this time, Ronnie had the one thing she had always wanted. A baby. _

_Ronnie opened her eyes wide, determined to savour every moment that she had with her baby. And suddenly the feeling came. The lovely golden feeling that she had been waiting for for too long. The midwife slowly walked over to Ronnie, smiling, carrying her little girl wrapped in a soft pink blanket._

"_Congratulations Ronnie, she's beautiful," gushed the midwife, placing the bundle of pink into Ronnie's trembling arms._

_Ronnie was beside herself. To feel this sacred new life in her arms at last was an indescribable feeling. She never thought the moment would come when she held her precious little girl safe in her arms. But it was real, it was happening. She was a mother again and this was her little girl. The little girl who had been in her mind constantly for nine months; she was here, safe in her mother's embrace._

_Ronnie gently kissed the little girl's soft head. She had beautiful big blue eyes and tiny, almost invisible wisps of soft blonde hair. She was perfect. But it wouldn't matter to Ronnie what her little girl looked like, all that mattered was that Ronnie's life long wish had been finally granted. Her wished-for child was finally here, safe with her mother, just as she should be._

_Ronnie thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the midwife. "Do you have a name for this little one yet then?"_

_Ronnie smiled. "Mia," she said, looking admiringly down at the precious soul. "Mia Roxanne Danielle Mitchell."_

"_That's beautiful," smiled the midwife, placing some more blankets down on the bed._

"_Thank you," replied Ronnie without even looking up. She just wanted to lose herself in the moment; this sacred moment with her baby girl._

"_Do you take an interest in the meanings of names, I've always done it with my three, I like to look behind the name, it's kind of a habit of mine?" said the midwife, chuckling._

_Ronnie turned round to face the midwife and smiled gently. She had chosen this name carefully. She had stumbled across it by accident in fact but when Ronnie discovered the meaning of Mia, she couldn't possibly have ignored it._

"_Mia means...," Ronnie sighed deeply. "Wished-for child,"_

X

"_Mummy, I'm scared,"_

Ronnie's thought train was instantly broken at the sound of her little girl's cry. She looked down and saw tiny, pearl-like tears slowly falling from her daughter's crystal blue eyes.

"_Aww sweetheart, it's okay,"_ whispered Ronnie, kissing her daughter on the cheek. _"Mummy is going to be with you the whole time, she'll never let anything bad happen to you,"_

"_Do you promise?"_ asked the four year old, wiping another tear away from her eye.

"_That is a promise that Mummy will always keep, no matter what,"_ said Ronnie, resting her daughter's head on her shoulder and slowly making her way into the hospital.

That was a promise that Ronnie had made to her daughter on the day she was born. She swore always to protect her, to never let anything happen to her. She would always keep her safe.

But as if by cruel fate, Ronnie's promise had already been tested just half an hour after the little girl was born. Ronnie couldn't take it all in. It was happening; what they had said at the scan. Ronnie couldn't believe it, what they had said was all coming true. They had told her that there would be complications after the birth. They had told her that there were problems with parts of her daughter's brain, but Ronnie had no idea it would happen so fast. And as if by a cruel twist of fate, Ronnie's newly born daughter was yet again lifted from her arms before she even had the chance to cuddle her properly. The doctors whisked Mia away so fast that the room started spinning. Words like "_Complications." "Swelling." "Tumours,"_ hits her like bullets. Why was this happening to her? She could only just see the little girl being whisked away to the Intensive Care Unit. She had only had time to name her. Her little Mia. Her little fighter and saviour. And though Mia had already been taken away for now and although the doctors were doing everything they could to help her, Ronnie was determined to protect her precious little girl until the day she died. No horrible fathers or cruel boyfriends would ever harm either of them again. This was her second chance. Her second chance to protect her child. She was never going to let anything bad happen to her little wished-for child again. She was going to protect her forever and ever...

X

"_Can I help you?"_ asked the hospital receptionist.

Ronnie was suddenly snapped back to reality as quickly as she had left it. She looked around. She breathed a sigh of relief. Her daughter was still safe in her arms but it was time to face the worst.

"_Em..yes...my daughter is booked in for an M.R.I. Scan today."_ sighed Ronnie, almost wishing she could cover the little girl's ears to hide her from the truth.

"_Ok, and so what is your daughter's name?"_ asked the receptionist, managing to smile even in a depressing place like a hospital.

"_Mia Mitchell,"_ replied Ronnie, grasping the little girl's tiny, trembling hand.

"_Okay then, right this way Ms Mitchell,"_ gestured the receptionist, leading both girls off along a long, winding corridor.

It was time. Ronnie couldn't ignore it any more. It was happening. The thing she had been dreading for a week. It was time to find out if Ronnie's promise had helped to make things even a little bit better for Mia. It was time to find out if Ronnie had managed to fulfil the one thing she had been promising to her daughter since the day she was born...

**Thanks for reading guys! So Ronnie's daughter is called Mia Roxanne Danielle Mitchell. I hope you like the name because I have been thinking about it for a while. And the name Mia actually does mean 'Wished-for child' in Hebrew. I thought this would be perfect for a child of Ronnie's but I hope that everyone likes it so please mention if you do, it would mean a lot!**

**Anyway hope you enjoyed this update, please review and stay tuned for the next chapter! Thanks everyone!**

**Love from Erin**

**xxxx**


	5. Chapter 5 Don't Leave Me Mummy

**Hey guys! Thank you so much for reviewing the last chapter! It was good to get an update in because it had been a while since the last one :) This chapter is basically Ronnie in the hospital with her daughter Mia as she is about to have her M.R.I. Scan. So if you don't want to read about children in hospital then don't read on, as much as it pains me to say it, ha ha! Enjoy! Love from Erin x**

**Ronnie Mitchell's hands were shaking uncontrollably as she attempted to fasten the buttons on her daughter's pink bunny-rabbit pyjama top. She just couldn't seem to get her fingers to work properly, her brain wasn't getting into gear, she just couldn't concentrate but she couldn't let her protective barrier fall; she couldn't let Mia see how upset she was feeling inside.**

"_Ms Mitchell," _

Ronnie jumped as the nurse entered the changing room.

"_Em...yes..sorry," _stumbled Ronnie, her words slurring from the fear of what was about to come.

"_When you've finished changing Mia into her pyjamas, we need to get her to take a pre-med pill to calm her down before we introduce the sedative," _said the nurse, slowly making her way over to both of them, carrying a shining silver packet and a glass of water.

Ronnie sighed quietly to herself. Scans, pills, all sorts of this medical crap and for what; a distraught and upset four year old and a constant, crushing panic hanging over her.

"_She couldn't swallow it last time," _sighed Ronnie, speaking almost in a whisper, trying hard not to let her frustration show through in her voice.

"_I'm aware of that Ms Mitchell we feel it would be better for Mia if she took the pill to calm her down before we administer the anaesthetic," _replied the nurse, obviously sensing the tension in the room.

Again, Ronnie sighed at how desperate the situation had become. She could feel the anger fizzing furiously inside of her; she was ready to snap; to explode; to push back her chair furiously; square up to the nurse and shout that she wasn't about to put her daughter through any more trauma or angst. But she couldn't do that. Yet again, but not through choice, she was forced to become the Ice Queen; the girl who doesn't show her feelings; the woman who can never break down in front of other people and the woman who can certainly never let her little girl see her cry and shout at an innocent by-stander. It just wasn't fair. The pain was tearing at Ronnie's insides every second of every day, it wore her down, made her lose faith, drove her to insanity, insanity that she couldn't control and Ronnie was terrified that this pain would never disappear from her life. But she had to snap herself out of it. Her stomach churned at the thought of what she had just been thinking. How dare she moan and complain and feel sorry for herself when her four year old daughter was about to be put to sleep for an M.R.I. Scan. What pain must Mia be feeling? How is Mia coping? Will Mia be okay? These were the questions that Ronnie should have in her head and they were the ones that needed answering. And the scan was the only thing that was going to answer them and it had to be made as easy as possible for her little girl.

Ronnie reached out slowly, her hand shaking and took the pre-med pill from the nurse. _"Sorry," _she whispered, fighting with all her might against the tears that were trying to melt her precious 'Ice Queen' shield.

The nurse sensed the nerves coming from Ronnie and decided to release the burden. _"Don't worry, __I won't let you do it on your own, you don't need to worry," _said the nurse smiling, placing a hand on Ronnie's shoulder. _"I know how difficult this must be...for both of you,"_

Ronnie couldn't even bring herself to reply. The shield was melting, falling, slipping away. She couldn't let anyone see her cry, no one at all, she wouldn't let anyone judge or her or control her; not any more. She stood up, faced the wall and pressed her hands against her face in a last-ditched attempt to stop the tears. She knew they would return later to haunt her when Mia had to be put to sleep, but for now, she had to re-gain control again.

"_Mummy," _cried a small voice from beside her which snapped Ronnie back to reality.

Her head snapped up instantly as she realised what she had been doing. There were far more important things than her own feelings. Her baby girl was the only person that mattered, the one person she promised to protect forever and ever.

"_Don't cry sweetheart, Mummy's here," _whispered Ronnie, picking the child up and holding her close to her body, breathing in her smell and securing her in a safe bond.

"_We'll get started now Ms Mitchell," _said the nurse, trying her best to reassure this troubled mother and her child.

There was no going back now. It was time. Time for the scan. Time to see if God was willing to let her daughter live. Ronnie had never been religious in all her life but today it was different. She closed her eyes, held Mia close and prayed to God that she would be okay. Maybe some kind spirit would see that a four year old didn't deserve this. If anything, Ronnie deserved to die. She deserved to have all of this pain, worry and angst for all of the terrible things she had done in her life. She was a selfish, closed-off, bitter woman who didn't deserve a little girl as beautiful and as brave as Mia but she had never been more grateful for another human-being in her life. Mia was her strength, her shining light, her angel and the little girl wouldn't know that unless Ronnie protected her and kept her safe. And for now, the only way that Ronnie could keep this little girl safe was by putting her through this scan, to find out if her prayers were going to be answered. It was time.

"_This way, Ms Mitchell," _said the nurse, gesturing down the corridor.

There was no going back now. The truth was soon to come out...

X

The reality of what was about to happen hit Ronnie painfully as the doctor brought the needle over. Ronnie swallowed and gripped her little girl's hand tighter. Mia hated needles; who didn't? But without the anaesthetic, they would never know the truth.

But Mia was terrified. As soon as the doctor sat down, a small wail escaped from the little girl's mouth and she burrowed deeper into her mother's shoulder; her tiny hands shaking terribly.

"_No Mummy, I don't want it," _she wailed, her sobs emerging in a shaky, choked up manner.

Ronnie had to hold back the tears herself at the sound of her distraught daughter. Why must she put her through all of this? Why was all of this happening?

The doctor nodded at Ronnie to reassure her and Ronnie knew all she could do was talk to the little girl and tell her she would always be safe with her.

"_Listen sweetheart, Mummy is never going to let anything happen to you, okay?" _she whispered smiling down at the little girl. _"She will always be here for you, you're her special big brave girl remember?" _she smiled, kissing Mia on her forehead and wiping away her tiny tears with her index finger.

And being the brave girl that she was, Mia tried with all her might to stop crying. Her eyes were screwed up in concentration, she was desperate to stop it, for her mum. But the thought of the needle was just too much and yet another tear escaped.

"_Don't leave me mummy," _she cried, gripping her mother's hand and leaning into her shoulder.

All of these pleading words played back in Ronnie's mind over and over again, eating away at her brain. They wouldn't leave her alone; they wouldn't go away. They seemed so familiar. And Ronnie knew why. She knew exactly why she had used those devastating words. Those were words she had once spoken to her own mother when she left the family all those years ago whilst Ronnie was five months pregnant.

X

_A fourteen year old Veronica Mitchell stroked her stomach gently, smiling sweetly. She was pregnant. Five months now. It wouldn't be long before she could finally meet the little life growing inside her. She couldn't wait. She never thought she could be a mum at fourteen but somewhere, deep down inside, Veronica knew that she would love this baby with all of her heart and she was desperate to give it all of the care it deserved. She would always protect it; keep it safe; safe from the people in the world who were determined to get rid of it._

_She gasped softly as she felt her precious little baby kick gently inside her. It made her smile; it melted her heart; it reminded her exactly why she had chosen to keep the baby. She couldn't wait to become a mother; she couldn't wait to kiss the child's head and tell her how much she loved her._

"_It won't be long now baby," she whispered, stroking her stomach. "It won't be long until I can hold you in my arms,"_

_But her haven was shattered as she heard someone come in the room. It was her own mother._

_Glenda looked on in shock as she caught sight of her daughter. She wondered how she had let it come to this. She wondered if she could have done something to change what had happened. But no; Glenda was never in control; never the one to take charge and make a difference. Someone else always made sure of that. _

_Glenda sighed deeply at the sight of her daughter and as quickly as she had entered; she turned around and left the room, her pointed high heels clicking against the polished floor as she went._

"_Mum, wait," shouted Veronica, standing up quickly and running out her bedroom after her._

_She sprinted across the landing, making sure she didn't wake Roxy or disturb her Dad as he watched TV in the next room, and quickly followed her mum down the stairs until she met her in the hallway, opposite the glass front door._

_Veronica was about to question her mum's sharp exit, when she caught sight of something ominous waiting in the corner of the room. A suitcase. A suitcase that was bursting to the brim with God-knows-what. Ronnie gasped._

"_Mum...?" she whispered, her throat so dry, the words were barely audible. "Are you going somewhere?" She didn't want to hear the answer, but she had to know._

_Glenda sighed heavily. Veronica could see tears forming in her eyes, her hands were shaking, her lips clamped tightly shut. It couldn't be true!_

_Glenda couldn't bring herself to say it. It would kill her if she did. All she could do was walk slowly towards her daughter, kiss her softly on the top of her forehead and stroke her cheek gently before turning away again to face the door. And before Veronica knew it, her mother was picking up the suitcase and grasping the door handle so tightly her knuckles were white against her skin. She wasn't, was she?_

"_Mum,...mum please don't leave me, please, I love you, I'm sorry if I've made you angry, please," cried Ronnie, the tears falling rapidly down her cheeks. _

_Glenda couldn't bare it. She couldn't even bring herself to say anything to her daughter. It was just too hard. But she had to say something, anything..._

"_I'm sorry sweetheart," whispered Glenda, turning around slowly and stifling a thousand sobs. She grasped the handle, opened the door and just like that, she left the house. Left everything; left the family; and left Veronica, her eldest daughter; while she was five months pregnant._

"_Don't leave me mummy," Veronica whispered. But it was too late. Her mum was gone. Forever. Veronica had no idea what was going to happen to her. Now everything seemed so hopeless, so pointless; the pain was going to rip her insides to shreds and there would be nothing she could do to stop it. The pain would consume her entire existence and she would die, right here, right now, with no one to catch her and make her feel better. But suddenly, Veronica gasped. The pain eased off gently as she felt her baby kick once again. And Veronica knew something from that moment on. She had to stay alive for her baby; she would care for her; cherish her; love her and she would never let anything happen to her. She promised to be a better parent to her baby, better than her own mother and father ever were. It was time..._

X

Ronnie was instantly snapped out of her flashback as she heard a small cry when the needle slowly entered Mia's hand. There was no going back. It was time for the scan. Ronnie tried so hard to hold back the tears as she watched her daughter slowly starting to fall asleep. Her sobs became quieter; her breathing slowed down and her shiny, blue eyes were slowly starting to close.

Ronnie was unaware of her surroundings for the next few minutes. All she wanted to do was concentrate on Mia. She wanted to watch her closely and observe everything that was happening to her. She briefly heard the doctor asking her to bring Mia over to the scanner but her hearing and vision were so blurry and hazy that she found it difficult to put one foot in front of the other. She did her best to snap out of it and slowly lay Mia down on the stretcher that would carry her through the colossal scanner. Mia looked so tiny, so fragile; so innocent in such a horrible environment that _was_ the hospital. But this horrible place was the only thing that could help her and Ronnie had to keep her promise; she just had to; it was the only thing she could do.

"_She's fully sedated now Ms Mitchell, we'll start right away," _Ronnie heard the doctor say.

Ronnie quickly wiped away another tear and nodded at the doctor. She slowly leant in towards Mia. She pushed the little girl's soft blonde hair behind her ear and whispered something to her;_"I love you so much beautiful girl, I love you more than anything else in the world," _Ronnie tried to say without sobbing. _"And I..." _she swallowed.

"_And I will never leave you, never ever, so long as you need me there beside you," _whispered Ronnie. She kissed the little girl's forehead and gently placed the pink blanket over her, trying as best as she could to secure her in her special dream world.

The scanner started up and even though Mia was slowly moving away on the stretcher; Ronnie knew that the little girl would feel her presence wherever she was. Because that's how Ronnie always felt. Wherever she was; whatever was happening, Ronnie carried her little girl with her all the time; just as she had promised, safe, safe in her heart, protected from the horrible, cruel world that would always try to take her away...

**Awww! Ha ha! I hope you enjoyed it and I hope everyone is still interested in this fic and I hope am not being too repetitive or depressing or boring! Please tell me if you didn't like it because I will be grateful for any kind of criticism. So I won't mind too much if you tell me it's rubbish, lol! But I honestly hope you enjoyed it and please review because it means a lot!**

**Love Erin x**


	6. Chapter 6 Mia's Lullaby

**Hi everyone! It is two o'clock in the morning but I am going on holiday on Monday and I really wanted to update before I left! I really hope everyone is enjoying this fic but if you aren't then please let me know because I welcome any sort of feedback. Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter and I will see you all in a week when I get back! Thank you and enjoy! Love Erin x **

**(Warning; There are a few uses of bad language in this chapter)**

Ronnie Mitchell's hands shook desperately as she stroked her little girl's head tenderly. Mia was still fast asleep from the anaesthetic. The M.R.I. Scan had just finished and she was still a long way from waking up. Ronnie's finger traced her daughter's hairline running all the way down to her tiny, pale hand which lay faced down beside her. A bruise was starting to form in the center of her left hand where the anaesthetic had been injected and Ronnie tactfully made sure she avoided it. Mia was still fast asleep but she just looked so peaceful and calm. Ronnie didn't want to be the one to break that peace; if anything she wanted to allow her daughter to savour it. It was the least she deserved for being so brave. And yet, even the bravest need someone there to comfort them. Ronnie had a special way of relaxing and soothing her little girl. A special lullaby. Her special lullaby. Their special lullaby. A lullaby that Ronnie had written herself from the heart; every word true to its meaning; the exact message that she wanted to secure in her daughter's heart. And without even being aware of it, Ronnie, realising that Mia needed every ounce of her mother's love, softly began to sing to the daughter who meant everything in the world to her.

_*Now hush my little one._

_Mummy's here, though the sun has gone._

_She'll watch over you; keep you safe._

_Keep smiling sweetie; don't lose faith._

_When I held you for the first time,_

_My life lit up; but I knew it would be a climb._

_But soon I realised as it began to shine,_

_That this life wasn't just mine._

_Nothing will ever take you away._

_I could tell you 'I love you', a thousand times a day._

_Nothing will ever keep us apart._

_Because you are secure in my heart._

_When we're apart, I still keep you near._

_You don't know how glad I am you're here._

_Without you, I don't know where I would be._

_I love you so much sweetheart, I hope that's what you see..._

And as Ronnie finished the lullaby that she had recited to her daughter an endless number of times, a smile slowly stretched across her face as she realised just how lucky she was to have a little girl as beautiful, brave and as loving as Mia. That simple little lullaby reminded Ronnie of something so important. Even though the brain tumours were destined to take over both of their lives, Ronnie knew that it didn't matter; she had the one thing she had always wanted. A child. And even if life never handed the easiest option on a silver platter to them both, all that mattered was that they had each other and cared for each other because that was all Ronnie wanted to do; love Mia for exactly who she is and show her that no one means more to her; no matter what the scan results showed. But it was now or never. The doctor was calling Ronnie through to the next room. The results were in. Mia's life depended on these next few minutes and Ronnie needed to get through them; for her daughter's sake because that was all she could do; watch over Mia; keep her safe; carry on smiling; never losing faith.

"_Take a seat Ms Mitchell," _said the doctor kindly, gesturing to an orange plastic seat beside his desk.

Ronnie acknowledged the offer and sat down quickly, positioning herself so that she was sitting right on the edge, nervously waiting to embrace the wrath of the doctor's next few words.

Ronnie took a deep breath in and dared herself to ask the question that had been taunting her all day.

"_What did the scan show?" _she asked, barely recognising the voice that had just escaped from her mouth, it was so timid.

Ronnie's whole body stiffened as she heard the doctor sigh. The negatives kept hitting her inside. The voices in her head were taunting her; leading her to believe that it was the worst she was about to encounter.

"_Ms Mitchell, I'm...," _the doctor began.

"_Oh my God," _Ronnie thought to herself. She could feel her chest tightening; her heart rate was quickening, the worst was coming true.

"_I am so sorry Ms Mitchell but I'm afraid it's not good news," _the doctor sighed, his eyes filled with sorrow and dismay.

Ronnie's heart sank six feet below the ground. Her worst nightmares were coming true, Mia was going to die and it would be all her fault. She couldn't bring herself to say anything. Her face remained still. Her lips were clamped tight shut. The only indication that Ronnie had heard what the doctor had said, was the sight of two tears falling from both of her eyes and landing with a tiny splash on the cold, hard polished floor. She couldn't bring herself to say a word, but she had to; what else could she do; give up? That was the last thing Ronnie wanted to do; the last thing she could do; the truth had to be discovered.

"_What do...what do you mean?" _she managed to stumble, determined to find out exactly what he was talking about.

"_I am so sorry to tell you this but the M.R.I. Scan has showed us that the previous tumour has shrunk in size but a new one has unfortunately started to develop underneath," _he replied, completely unsure of how to properly address this awful situation.

Ronnie's topsy-turvy world had come crashing down once again. She looked behind her at the sleeping four year old in the next room; completely oblivious to what was going on. Ronnie wished that she too could curl up in a tight ball, fall asleep with her daughter in her arms and forget all about this horrible, cruel world. But that wasn't an option...

_But you...you must be able to do something?" _Ronnie stuttered, standing up quickly, unaware of how shaky and unsteady her legs were.

"_Ms Mitchell, it might be better if you took a se...," _ he began, but Ronnie had to have answers.

"_There must be something you can do, some sort of treatment, please, just something, anything," _she spluttered, not even bothering to wipe away the new tears that had fallen.

"_I am truly sorry Ms Mitchell but the problem is that this new tumour has developed on a part of the brain that is simply too fragile to operate on," _said the doctor, also standing up and coming round beside Ronnie.

And as the doctor placed a hand around Ronnie's arm in an attempt to seat her again, she looked up from the floor, connecting with his chocolate brown eyes and took a deep breath in. She had to know the truth...

"_Is she going to die?" _she whispered, her voice completely changed due to the build up of tears inside of her body.

The doctor sighed and managed to seat Ronnie back down on the plastic chair. He needed her full attention at this difficult time, for what he was about to say next.

"_I cannot say for certain..." _he began. Ronnie sighed desperately.

"_That's what they all say," _she said, trying and failing to hide her anger.

"_I know how difficult this must be for you Ms Mitchell but I...," _he tried to say but Ronnie couldn't take it. She threw back her chair and stood up straight, her insides straining from the sudden movement.

"_A difficult time, really? Difficult time, how about a difficult life?" _she spat, the anger building up inside her. _"My daughter has spent the entire four years that she has been alive, in and out of bloody hospitals, needles in her arms, strangers putting all sorts of crap inside her and you think you know how difficult it is?" "Do you really? Can you honestly say that you know what I'm going through, what my daughter is bloody going through? It's hell! Absolute bloody hell! And nobody can tell me anything that will give me a little, bitesize piece of hope to let me know if my daughter is going to be alive next week. Difficult, sir, is an understatment," _Ronnie flared, hardly able to see from the tears that were flowing from her sore, tired eyes.

She sighed. Her breathing was harsh and heavy, her palms were sweating, her fists clenching. She was fuming, distraught, horrified that her daughter might be dying at this very moment. But that was just it. How could she have been so selfish and stupid? Her little girl was in the next room unconcious, possibly fighting for her life and she was standing here shouting at the person who was trying to help her. What had become of her? How had she let this happen? What was wrong with her? The last few minutes of her rant played back in her head and Ronnie realised just how stupid she had been. This wasn't right. This man was just doing his job; just trying to help. It made Ronnie tearful to think about just how unfair she had been to the doctor and to Mia. This had to stop. She had to stop the childish behaviour. She had to be a proper mum to Mia.

And before Ronnie could even begin to apologise to the poor doctor, he had picked up her chair that she had knocked over in her frustration, placed it firmly on the ground and invited her to sit back down again. His kind eyes met with Ronnie's again and as a quick as a flash; he had reverted back to doing what he did best...

"_I know no one can possibly even begin to understand what you are both going through but all I want to do is help Mia and help you and though the situation is difficult right now, I have a few things that may be a huge help to you both, if you're willing to take them on," _he said, smiling reassuringly as if the outburst had never happened.

Ronnie smiled subtly. Maybe there was some good in this world? But whatever his suggestions were, Ronnie was more than willing to listen; not just for the doctor or for her but for the most important person to her; Mia; her little fighter and saviour; the one she loved more than anyone else and cared the most about. The one whom she was determined to fight for, if it was the last thing she ever did...

**Thank you so much for reading everyone. As I said, this will be the last update for a week as I am going on holiday tomorrow (Monday), which is why I wanted to update. Please read and review! I hope you liked it and I hope I didn't go over the top with Ronnie's feelings. Any sort of feedback is welcome! Thank you!**

*** P.S. Ronnie and Mia's lullaby has come straight from me. I wrote it myself in a rush so I hope it isn't too corny etc! I hope you liked it!**

**Love Erin x**


	7. Chapter 7 Before It's Too Late

**Hi everyone! I am sooo sorry that it has been so long since I updated. I started writing this chapter as soon as I got back from my holiday almost a month ago but this chapter has frustrated me so much and so I kept changing it. I hope you are not getting bored of this fic because I really want to keep it going. I couldn't wait to get this uploaded because I finally got my exam results out the way and I go back to school on Monday :( so I was sooo pleased to finally finish it. Anyway, please let me know what you think of it. Any feedback is welcome. Positive/negative. I will welcome any kind of comment. Hope you enjoy it! Love Erin! xxx**

Ronnie Mitchell rubbed the side of her head roughly in an attempt to block out the continuous _'thump, thump, thump' _that was pounding inside her head. It was her heart beating in fear, in worry and this repetitive thudding was going on so loudly that she could scarcely hear what the doctor was saying. But she had to snap out of it. Every single syllable that escaped from the doctor's mouth in the next ten minutes had to be heard.

"_Ms Mitchell," _the doctor began, tenderly, nervously loosening his tie as he began to process his thoughts into words.

Ronnie looked up from her lap which had been keeping her eyes busy for the last few moments.

"_Call me Ronnie..." _she spoke quietly, smiling at the doctor, allowing herself to be taken in by his kindly gaze.

The doctor smiled back. _"Ronnie..,"_ he said, his beaming smile washing over her like a cool breeze. She wanted to close her eyes, breathe in deeply and just allow herself to savour this moment. Something as simple as a smile would be enough to make Ronnie cheerful for just one moment. But she shouldn't be so concerned with making herself feel better. She didn't matter. To Ronnie, Mia was the only person in the entire world who mattered.

At once, Ronnie tuned in as her daughter's name played in her head. Mia. Her little saviour; her shining light; her wished-for child. The child who had given her a second chance at life. A chance to leave the old Veronica Mitchell trapped in Walford; safely hidden away. She was still Ronnie Mitchell but this new Ronnie Mitchell had a chance to make things right through Mia. And Ronnie was most certainly not going to waste that chance...

"_Because the newly-developed tumours have now become inoperable..." _began the doctor, shuffling the papers on his desk and raising his head to look Ronnie directly in the eye. The sudden change of tone in his voice made Ronnie's heart beat faster with worry. The ominous tone that she feared almost more than anything. The tone that generally meant bad news. But bad news generally followed Ronnie and Mia wherever they went. And here it was yet again, ready to cloud over their heads and consume their every waking existence...

"_We would like to adminster Mia with another course of chemotherapy," _the doctor blurted out, his eyes filled with upset and regret.

Ronnie's thumping heart suddenly felt like it was slowing down; ready to stop and give out altogether. Her breathing became more raspy and fast as she tried to stop the tears from flowing from her eyes. No. Not that. Anything but that. Mia couldn't take all that suffering. And Ronnie just couldn't put her little girl through all of that pain and discomfort again. She just couldn't stop herself from thinking about the last time Mia had chemotherapy.

_Her eyes were slowly filling up with tears as she tried to hold her daughter down as the nurse came over with the needle. Mia had been crying for over an hour straight and had now got herself in such a state that she was shaking violently from the worry. Ronnie had tried to comfort her daughter; she had tried to kiss her on the head, stroke her hair and tell her everything was going to be alright but Ronnie wasn't the one about to have a needle stuck in the back of her hand for three hours. Ronnie had desperately tried to explain to Mia what chemotherapy meant but she was only four years old. And for such a young child, needles meant pain and pain terrified the life out of her._

"_Come on sweetie, it's alright, hold on to Mummy," said the nurse, as she held Mia's hand down to insert the needle containing the chemotherapy drugs._

"_Ssshh, come on angel, Mummy's here, everything's going to be alright," said Ronnie, struggling to control her emotions as Mia continued to resist._

_And though the needle was now in, it didn't stop her little girl from curling up into a small ball and sobbing hysterically into her mother's shoulder as the drug slowly entered her body, starting off a whole new cycle of pain and upset..._

"_It's alright," _whispered the doctor, as he handed Ronnie a tissue from the box on his desk.

Ronnie accepted it and quickly got rid of the tears that had tried to melt her Ice Queen shield. The memory had just been too painful for her. Seeing her little girl in that state had been heartbreaking enough at the time and the memory of it still haunted her every second of every day. And now, by the sound of things, it was going to have to happen all over again, whether she liked it or not.

"_I understand that this is difficult for you, Ronnie," _said the doctor, in his gentle, soothing voice.

"_Do you really understand?" _whispered Ronnie, thankfully not loud enough for the doctor to hear. She was distraught at the whole situation but she didn't really want to say something like that to the man who was trying to help her and her daughter.

"_But," _continued the doctor. _"Myself and the nurses who have been observing Mia recently agree that another cycle of chemotherapy is the best thing we can do to help her condition,"_

Yet again, Ronnie couldn't stop herself from thinking that that was what this very doctor had promised her last time that this happened. He had almost said those exact words and what good did it do last time? Ronnie remembered all too well.

She remembered the doctor saying that the drugs would cause Mia to lose weight and her growth would be affected and true to it's description, the drugs caused her to lose her appetite completely and put her severely underweight and small for her age. She remembered holding her daughter's hair back as she threw up ten times a day. She remembered when Mia's hair eventually all fell out, leaving her with a four year old who was ashamed of how she looked and who never wanted to go out. She remembered the nights she would just sit there and watch Mia sleeping; terrified that any moment, her daughter's body might give up altogether and she would stop breathing. And for what; nothing. The chemotherapy simply stalled the problem for a few months and here they were, back again in the same doctor's office with Ronnie being told that all of that pain and distress was necessary again. She couldn't let that happen. She couldn't let Mia think she was going to get better even though the chemotherapy had a chance of being unsuccessful.

Ronnie turned around to face the door. She could just see Mia's pale little face through the small glass-paned window. Ronnie watched her for a few moments without blinking. All Ronnie really wanted to do was to pick her little girl up in her arms and sit with her, surrounding her with her love and care until the pain went away. Ronnie would give anything for life to be as easy as that but it wasn't. It was anything but. And now it was about to get a whole lot more difficult. But if chemotherapy was going to make it marginally easier then so be it!

Ronnie turned back around, took a deep breath in and then out and looked the doctor straight in the eyes.

"_Ok," _she said, almost in a whisper, as if she couldn't quite believe she was saying it.

The doctor smiled his gentle smile once again, relieved that Ronnie had realised what she had to do.

"_Don't worry Ronnie, you're making the right decision," _he said, before logging on to his computer to schedule a time when this would all take place.

Ronnie exhaled. Every decision like that one was like taking a running jump off a cliff above a deep blue ocean. You believed it was the thing you had to do at the time but afterwards, you always regretted it. But whether or not Ronnie would regret it later, for now, it was just what had to be done. And she was going to make it work for the best, no matter what.

The doctor turned around to face Ronnie. _"Well, we won't start the chemotherapy this week," _he explained, a decision which made Ronnie breathe a sigh of relief. _"I think I would like you to bring Mia back for her first cycle a week from today, the sooner the better I think," _he continued, tearing the appointment slip out of his notebook. _"And I'll prescribe some more tablets for Mia's seizures and some vitamins to help her growth. Hopefully the seizures will become less severe," _he said, writing it down on the piece of paper.

Without realising, Ronnie found herself sighing heavily. _"Another two things to add to the long list of medications," _she breathed, shaking her head slightly.

The doctor's eyes immediately filled up with sympathy and as he stood up to give Ronnie the appointment slip, he reached out and patted her gently on the arm in comfort. _"I know this is a horrible situation for both of you, Ronnie but this really is the best possible thing you can do for Mia to keep her chances of survival as high as possible,"_ he said, but then he smiled._"But I know that it isn't going to be a problem for her, I've said it since the beginning, she's a little fighter,"_

Ronnie was surprised to hear herself genuinely laughing at that moment, but what the doctor had said was true, Mia was indeed a little fighter. Ronnie turned around again to look at her daughter. She had always known it, right from the day Mia was born. She had always known that Mia's body was definitely full of Mitchell blood. She could just see it. Mia would definitely grow up to be a proper Mitchell.

But these sudden thoughts about her family name got Ronnie thinking. It got her thinking about the things that kept her awake with worry most nights. It had been four years since Ronnie had set foot in Walford. At the time, Ronnie had convinced herself that leaving was the best thing she could do, but now four years on, she had a possibly terminally ill child, and her family didn't even know that Mia existed, let alone the uncertainty that she might not live to see her next birthday. Maybe now was the time to...

"_I think the little one's starting to wake up now, Ms Mitchell," _exclaimed the doctor, checking through the window of his office.

Ronnie stood up so quickly her head spun from the motion. She had to have her baby girl back in her arms again.

As Ronnie walked in the room, Mia's eyes were still closed, but as Ronnie reached out to stroke her daughter's cheek, she was suddenly met by the gaze of the little girl's sky blue eyes, exactly like her own.

"_Mummy," _she cried, her voice barely coming out in a whisper from her dry throat.

"_Hello beautiful," _Ronnie whispered back, stroking Mia's hair and kissing her on the top of her head. _"Mummy is so proud of you, you know," _she smiled. _"You are her special big brave girl,"_

"_I was scared Mummy," _Mia whispered, her little eyes becoming watery as the fear came back to haunt her.

"_I know you were darling, Mummy's very sorry that this had to happen to you, but you were very brave like Mummy said you would be, weren't you?" _she asked, gently wiping away a tear from the corner of Mia's left eye. _"And Mummy is going to take you shopping tomorrow to say well done for being such a brave girl," _she said, her heart fluttering as a smile crept across Mia's face.

Mia barely had enough energy to reply and so simply nodded and reached up to her mum to be picked up. She would love to go shopping, she would love to spend a fun day with her mum, but for now, all she really wanted was for her mum to hold her close and kiss her sore head, trying to help her make the pain go away.

"_Come on then angel," _smiled Ronnie, wrapping Mia up in her pink bunny blanket and cradling her carefully in her safe grasp. It was easy to pick her up after all, even at four years old. Ronnie stroked her daughter's cheeky softely whilst trying to ignore the glaringinly obvious fact that she could feel Mia's ribs prudently through her skin. It confirmed her worst fears of just how fragile Mia was. She was so tiny. Far smaller than she should be for her age. People didn't guess that she was four years old. If she didn't have such a bubbly, talkative nature then passers-by might think that she was barely out of nappies. And now it was about to become even worse. The chemotherapy was going to start all over again and the reminders would keep hitting Ronnie where it hurt most. But she was just going to have to learn to accept it. This was what was going to happen and Ronnie couldn't do anything to change it. It was now up to the hospital to help Ronnie do all they could to help Mia recover fully.

"_We'll see you both next week then, Ronnie," _the doctor smiled, handing over the appointment slip. He gently took Mia's hand and gave it a squeeze. _"Now make sure that this little one gets plenty of rest over the next few days, okay," _

Mia laughed as the doctor tickled her hand. _"She's been very brave today so she deserves a little bit of rest time,"_

"_Thank you so much for all you've done Doctor Green," _Ronnie smiled, even though she could feel tears forming in her eyes. _"I hope...," _she swallowed, desperately trying not to let her true feelings show. _"I hope you know...," _she tried again.

But the doctor simply smiled and held open the door of the scanner room to allow Ronnie and Mia to escape from the hospital for the time being. _"You're welcome, Ronnie," _he grinned, gesturing the way out to them both.

Ronnie returned the smile, hoisted Mia further up into her arms and walked slowly out of the M.R.I. Department. They were free for now. Free from the horrible hospital. Free from the constant reminders; just for now. It made Ronnie feel better knowing how kind and considerate the doctor was. Mia really was in safe hands; she had been since the day she was born. But as Ronnie climbed into the taxi, still clutching Mia as tightly as she could, she couldn't stop herself from thinking about something that had crossed her mind earlier. Her family. Her family back in Walford. The people whom she used to treasure so dearly. And now they were simply a distant memory. And so was Ronnie to them. Ronnie had no idea if they still thought about her. And even though it had been Ronnie's decision to leave her home four years ago, she still couldn't stop thinking about the fact that Mia had never met any of her proper family. And her family didn't even know that Ronnie had been granted the one thing she had always wanted in her life more than anything; a child of her own. And now her child was in danger; she had been for her whole life. And Ronnie knew that the longer she hid, the longer the timebomb kept ticking. The longer she kept Mia away from her family, the longer they went without knowing she existed. And the longer her family went without knowing Mia existed, the longer they went without knowing that they could be about to outlive her. Ronnie knew what she had to do. Sooner or later, she had to get in touch with her family. They had to be introduced to Mia. And Mia had to meet the people who were a part of her life. Ronnie and Mia had to be reunited with the rest of the Mitchell family before it was was too late...for both of them...

**Hope you enjoyed it! Any feedback is welcome. Please let me know if you think I am getting the cancer side of the story completely wrong. I do not wish to offend or upset anyone so please let me know if the cancer bit is unrealistic or offensive! But I hope you enjoyed the chapter and I hope to update very soon!**

**Love Erin xxx**


	8. Chapter 8 I Love You

**Hey everyone! So I decided to update now before school on Monday :( so I hope you like it. I've taken into account what FutureNarnianQueenX said in her review for the last chapter that this fic can be repetitive so I have taken that on board and decided that she's absolutely right, so I thank you for that FutureNarnianQueenX. Please let me know if there is anything else you don't think is quite right with this fic because I love to hear what you all think of this story. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far and I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

***P.S. Please don't read if you don't wish to read scenes of abuse.***

**Enjoy!**

It seemed too good to be true that Ronnie and Mia Mitchell had been laughing continuously for about half an hour as they walked through the town centre hand in hand, laden with shopping bags but Ronnie had wanted to give her daughter a treat after the previous day's events and what better way to do it than with a shopping trip. Mia obviously had her mother's tastes. They had had a great day together. And with no appointment to worry about for another week, Ronnie had allowed herself to relax temporarily. They had shopped, they'd joked, they had had a nice lunch and most importantly, they had been like proper mother and daughter. Not like a mother and daughter who generally spent their time cooped up at home or in some hospital room for hours on end. Today felt...well to Ronnie, today felt normal. This what what Ronnie and Mia should be doing together all the time, and even though it saddened Ronnie as she realised that this day would soon be a distant memory, she embraced the fact that today had made Mia happy, it had allowed her to forget about everything that had hurt her in her life and if Mia could forget, then so could Ronnie. It was just going to be a normal day.

"_Oh Mia, what have I told you about these shoelaces," _questioned Ronnie, as her daughter tripped over the undone lace for the umpteenth time.

"_Emmm, never pull 'em out to wear as necklaces," _Mia replied, laughing, convinced that that was the right answer.

"_Well yes there's that, Miss Cheeky," _laughed Ronnie, lifting Mia up on to the metal bench. _"But I'm also always telling you to stop untying them deliberately when you're sitting down, _said Ronnie, fixing the laces as she spoke. "_Have these been like that since lunchtime?"_

Ronnie only needed to hear the giggle that came from Mia in the next few seconds to understand that that was a yes.

"_Come on you, let's get to this toy shop before I change my mind," _laughed Ronnie, placing Mia back on the ground, taking her hand and leading her around the corner to her favourite shop.

It was a brightly coloured, noisy, happy place that they were met with as they turned the corner. But then again, toy shops were generally like that. It was full to the brim with toys and gadgets of every shape, size and colour and Mia was ecstatic. Ronnie loved the way that her face instantly lit up with a smile as soon as she entered the crowded shop.

"_Right sweety, you can choose one thing from here for being so good yesterday, okay?" _smiled Ronnie, stroking her daughter's soft hair as she took the pink glittery bag out of her hands that she had been carrying all day.

Mia didn't wait for another invitation; she sped off around the shops as if she was on wheels. It was such a relief for Ronnie to see her so happy. It made a wonderful change. It seemed easier for children to forget about things. They just got on with life and didn't wallow in pity or sadness. Ronnie knew she should be more like that. She'd always known that, but it was always harder for her, no matter how much effort she put in. But for now, she was keeping the mood happy. They could both use it and so she started having a look around the shop herself to see if she spotted anything that Mia might like but before she even had the chance to blink, the little girl was back, her cheeks pink with excitement, a smile stretched across her face and a soft, golden teddy bear with a red ribbon around its neck, clutched tightly in her arms.

"_This one Mummy," _she exclaimed, jumping up and down with excitement.

"_Excuse me, what is it we say madam?" _asked Ronnie, in a teasing tone.

Mia sighed comically. _"This one Mummy, **please**," _she recited, emphasising the 'magic' word.

"_That's better, thank you," _Ronnie laughed, taking her daughter's hand and leading her towards the till.

The queue was massive; stretching many metres back from the actual cash desk. It was full of clearly exhausted mothers and fathers, all sighing after a long day's shopping with the kids, who were either crying, screaming, fighting, rolling around on the floor or starting a shouting match with their parents for a bigger toy than the one they were actually going to get. Places like this stressed Ronnie out, it was the same for most parents, there were just so many people everywhere. Anyone could be bad and if people were stressed, no one else tended to matter. They just got on with their lives and didn't care if they sent other peoples spiralling in the process. Ronnie grabbed Mia's hand tighter as they moved further up the queue. Children darted in and out of them as they walked and Ronnie could feel her blood boiling slightly but she made herself promise that she wouldn't get angry, not today.

There were times at home when she was alone, where she would get so angry with drowning in her own thoughts and worries that she would just lose it and destroy anything in her path. She had once been so angry that she had smashed the wine glass she had been drinking from hard against the wall and pushed her fist as hard as she could in the shattered remains, leaving her sitting in her own blood for the whole night. She knew it was drastic. She knew it was stupid but she didn't know what had made her do it. Something inside her just...snapped. And she was constantly terrified that one day it would happen again, and she might not even be alone, she might have Mia with her and then she would do something she would instantly regret. She had to keep calm. She had to remain focused. So to distract herself at that moment, she reached down to the teddy bear that Mia had chosen and took it in her hands ready to give to the shop assistant.

Mia smiled. _"She's going to be my special teddy, Mummy," _she said sweetly, leaning against Ronnie as the queue drew to a sudden halt once again.

"_She's very pretty isn't she?" _Ronnie asked, stroking the bear's soft head.

Ronnie looked at it closely. The bear had soft golden fur, detailed stitching and big, emphasised blue eyes, the exact same colour as Mia's. Strangely, the bear seemed familiar to Ronnie but she couldn't work out why. She knew she had gone off soft toys for some reason one day when she was very young but it didn't occur to her why. It was staring her in the face but she couldn't work out where she had seen it before. Why on earth did this soft toy seem so familiar?

"_Look," _exclaimed Mia, reaching up and squeezing the bear's tummy. At once, something inside the soft toy switched on and it began to say _"I love you, I love you, I love you," _over and over again in a cheery, sing-song voice which made Mia giggle and squeal with excitement.

Ronnie smiled down at Mia and also sighed at the fact that that would be the noise she was going to hear at home constantly for the next week. But suddenly Ronnie stopped laughing. Her smile faded. Her blood started to run cold in her veins. She had suddenly remembered why this bear seemed so familiar. She had one exactly like it when she was six years old...

X

"_Come on girls," shouted Glenda, hurriedly trying to get a six year old Veronica inside whilst carrying a two year old Roxanne on her hip, before the rain soaked all of them. It had been sunny all day whilst the three girls had been out shopping but when they had decided to return home, the heavens had opened and sent the raindrops falling like bullets._

"_Oh Veronica, wipe your feet on the mat ,will you?" cried Glenda angrily, placing Roxanne and the bags of shopping down on the floor. "We don't want your father getting angry now do we?"_

_Veronica shook her head obediently and took off her sodden shoes. She most certainly didn't want to get her father angry. That would be her ultimate worst nightmare as far as she was concerned._

"_Well gone on then, show your dad what you got today," said Glenda, egging Veronica on to follow Roxanne who had already gone to be met with affection from her beloved dad._

_Veronica said nothing. She would rather have gone upstairs away from it all but she knew she didn't have that choice. Instead, she bent down, opened her shopping bag and smiled as she pulled her brand new teddy bear out from underneath the plastic. She was so pleased that her mum had bought it for her. All of her friends seemed to prefer dolls to teddies but Veronica didn't care. She had wanted this bear for weeks and now she finally had it. It made her so happy to stroke the soft brown fur and hug the bear close to her face. It felt nice. It felt safe. It wasn't scary and it certainly wouldn't try to hurt her...unlike some people._

_Veronica sighed as her little moment was spoiled by her mother calling nervously for her to get into the living room to see her father. She slowly stood up and squeezed the bear's paw for courage. It was now or never..._

_As Veronica entered the living room she could hear Roxanne laughing loudly as Archie made her new toy dog woof and pant like a real pet. Roxanne's infectious laugh echoed round the living room and made Veronica wince as she edged closer to the door. She knew she had to go in but she would have rather stood out in the rain all night. Her heart was pounding furiously, her palms were sweating. She knew she shouldn't feel so scared about her own father but she couldn't help it, he had made her feel this way all the time and he definitely knew it..._

_She had reached the living room door._

_Archie was still playfully acting with Roxanne and her toy dog. Glenda was smiling as she watched her husband and daughter together. They seemed like a proper little family. And now here was Veronica; the eldest; the one who always wanted to ruin the fun; or so her dad had told her._

"_Where've you been hiding then, Veronica?" questioned Archie, tickling Roxanne under the chin as he spoke._

_Veronica still remained silent but edged closer to her father and sister, holding the teddy behind her back carefully._

"_What did your mother buy you with **my **credit card then?" Archie sneered at his eldest daughter._

_Veronica looked at her mum, who was now too busy changing Roxanne into her pyjamas to notice what was going on between the two of them, so it was up to her to fend for herself._

_She carefully uncurled her arms from behind her back and produced the golden teddy bear that she had been trying to hide from her father's evil grasp. She had been stupid; really stupid. She assumed that because her dad had acted along with Roxanne and her new toy that he would do exactly the same with her. But she couldn't have been more wrong._

_As soon as Archie saw the teddy bear, his expression changed. His eyes glared, his fists tightened and Veronica moved back as he angrily stood up off the couch._

"_What did you go and get a bloody useless thing like that for?" Archie bellowed, snatching the teddy out of Veronica's tiny hands. She squealed but made sure it wasn't loud enough for her father to hear._

"_Why on earth would you go and waste my hard-earned cash on a stupid soft toy for a girl **her** age?" questioned Archie again, staring at Glenda with bulging eyes, not realising the ridiculousness of his own question. But Glenda didn't say anything. She just looked on in fear._

"_I bet you put your mum up to this didn't you?" he shouted at Veronica. "Did you put on your little spoilt brat act and hope you would get away with it?" he asked furiously._

_Veronica tried to say no as her eyes filled with tears but it was no use. Archie grabbed her by the shoulder, threw the bear in the corner of the room and dragged the terrified little girl upstairs to her room._

"_Just get to bed," he ordered, pushing the door of her bedroom open. "And next time you want to go pestering your idiot mother for something stupid like that, just remember what happened today," he spat, slamming the door as he exited the room._

_Veronica now couldn't see at all through the wall of tears that had formed in her eyes. All she could find the strength to do was to quickly throw her pyjamas on, climb into bed and bury her head in the pillow, sobbing her heart out and furiously hitting it as she did. Why did her dad hate her so much? Why was he never like this with Roxanne? What had she ever done to anger him so much? Tears continued to fall from her eyes as her father's words echoed in her ears. She was upset about the bear but she was even more saddened by how horrible her father could be and the fact that her own mum hadn't even tried to help her. When was all of this pain going to end?_

_Suddenly, Veronica jumped as she felt a hand on her shoulder. She was terrified that it was Archie_

_back to reinforce his feelings but she breathed a sigh of relief when she saw it was her mum._

_Glenda didn't say anything to her daughter at that moment but she slowly leaned in and wiped away her tears and handed her something in a plastic bag. She quickly kissed Veronica on the forehead and exited the room without saying a word._

_Veronica hurriedly opened the plastic bag and gasped quietly at what she saw. She took the object out of the bag and happily discovered that it was the teddy bear. Veronica smiled. Her mother did care after all. She quickly hugged the bear and inhaled its friendly smell. She felt better already._

_Veronica decided that she wanted to get this horrible day over and done with as quickly as possible and so very silently, she curled up in a ball under the covers and settled down to sleep, clutching her new friend tightly in her arms. She felt at peace. She felt relaxed. She almost felt happy. But it wasn't to last._

_She hadn't been asleep long when she felt another hand on her shoulder. She jumped with fright as she was met with her father's angry gaze._

_Veronica's heart was pounding as Archie leant in close to her. She prayed that it was all a nightmare and she would wake up in a moment and her father would be snoring loudly in the next room but at that moment, Archie leaned in closer and whispered in her ear "You've been a bad girl Veronica," he hissed, breathing close to her face. "And bad girls do not go unpunished."_

_Veronica had to fight with all her might to stop herself from crying in fear. Crying would only make it worse. She wouldn't let him do the thing that he always did to her when they were alone. Not now, not today. Not when her mother was in the next room. She begged to anyone who was listening to stop her father from doing the thing to her that made her cry for hours on end. She just couldn't take it anymore. _

_But suddenly, Archie reached over and pulled the bear roughly from her arms._

"_You think a cuddle with a stupid teddy bear will make me go away, Veronica" he spat. "Well you've obviously got less brains than I thought. And bad, brainless girls don't deserve nice things, do they V, so you'll have to get what you deserve." _

_And at that moment Archie held the bear tightly in his left hand above his daughter's head and with the other hand, Veronica felts him pressing down on her body, making it impossible for her to run to her mum. "It's for you own good V," he said. What was he going to do to her? Veronica breathed in out and out heavily as her father continued to press down on her stomach, she just couldn't stop a tear from escaping from her right eye._

_And just as the rain began to stop outside her bedroom window, Archie pressed down on his little girl's tear-stained face with the teddy bear, completely smothering her mouth and nose, cutting off any possible oxygen supply. Veronica tried to struggle. She tried as hard as she could with all her strength to get her father off her but it only made him press down harder. She tried to cry, she tried to scream, she wanted to make some sort of noise to get her mother to help her but it was no use. Her lungs were on fire, they were bursting, they were going to give in at any moment. She was going to die. Her own dad was going to let her die and no one would ever know how cruel he really was._

_Veronica became even more terrified as she started to feel her eyes closing and her breathing slowing down. It was time. It was happening. She was going to be with the angels that she prayed to every night to get the torment to stop. Her own dad didn't want her and so the angels in the sky would take care of her, just like she asked them to everyday. It really was happening. She was slipping away..._

_But suddenly, just as she thought it was all over, the pressure was released and she began to cough and choke as the oxygen re-entered her lungs. She was spluttering and coughing harder than she ever had before but her dad just watched on without doing anything. Her vision was blurry from the tears but she could still see Archie's leering smile in the darkness as he chucked the bear on the floor once again._

"_That's what you get if you try to pull one over on your Dad, Veronica," he leered, knowing his daughter would never want to touch the bear again. He got what he wanted; what he's always wanted. Even more control over his eldest daughter._

_Veronica closed her eyes, not wanting to look around her until she heard the evil man leave the room. Her ribs were aching. Her breathing was raspy and irregular. Her whole body was shaking. The pillow was soaking from the volume of tears that had fallen. She was in so much pain and couldn't stop crying from the sheer fear that she had just experienced. But she knew exactly what she had to do. She had to do what her father had wanted to do since the moment she had showed him that stupid teddy bear..._

_Once Veronica was certain that her dad had left the room to go to his own bed, she pulled herself up out of her bed. It was an almighty struggle for her abused and tired body but nothing was going to stop her from doing this._

_She pulled out a plastic bag that she had chucked in her rubbish bin the day before and after picking up the tainted toy with the tips of her fingers, determined not to touch the thing that had caused all of this pain, she chucked it into the plastic bag and sealed it with the tightest knot she had ever tied._

_Veronica knew that she should wait until morning to do this but she didn't think she could survive a whole night with that thing in the same room as her. As quietly as she could, the little girl tiptoed down the stairs, making sure she didn't wake her parents who were now in bed and silently entered the kitchen where the back door was. The key was still in the lock thankfully and although she struggled to reach it, Veronica managed to unlock the door and head out into the back garden where the wheely bin was kept._

_She gently opened the lid of the bin after standing on one of the garden chairs to reach the handle and gripped the plastic bag containing the toy, tightly in her hand. She had so much anger built up inside her that she just wanted it to be over now. She wished someone would cart her off somewhere to escape the life that she had been given here but it wasn't that simple for her. For now, all Veronica could do was get rid of every single thing that reminded her of her father's torment of her and that included this bear. Using all of her strength and channelling all of the anger that she was harbouring, she threw the bag with an almighty swing, deep into the bottom of the smelly wheely bin and slammed the lid shut, not caring that she could have woken up the whole household in doing so. It was gone. The bear was gone. Her dad didn't wanted her to have something so much that he had tried to suffocate her with it. Well he had got his wish, Veronica never wanted to see or own another stupid teddy bear in her life. Her dad wanted control. Well he'd got it. And until Veronica was old enough to leave that house, she knew she had to deal with it. But she had no idea how that was possible. _

_And even though she was only six years old, Veronica decided that night as she walked back upstairs to bed that she hated her dad. She hated him more than anything and prayed that one day, she could care for her own children far more than her own parents had done with her._

_And little did she realise, her dad that she now hated had been watching her and laughing at her from his bedroom window that whole time, relishing in the fact that he had his daughter under his control. He was going to be the one in control. He was going to decide what happened to his family and no one was going to take that control away. Archie had Veronica in his grasp and he always would, no matter how hard she tried to ignore it and get rid of it..._

X

"_Mummy, it's our turn to pay," _whispered Mia, as Ronnie was snapped back into the present day.

Ronnie rubbed her forehead and breathed out. _"Sorry honey," _she gushed, trying to disguise the tears that she knew were determined to fall. _"Come on, let's go," _she said, walking up to the counter, holding Mia's teddy with the tips of her fingers. She didn't want to touch it. She didn't want to be reminded. Her daughter of course could keep the bear but Ronnie didn't ever want to touch something like that that reminded her of her father.

And though she tried to forget, as they left the toy shop and Mia pressed the button inside the teddy that made it speak, all Ronnie could hear and see was the image of her father trying to suffocate her with that same toy as it sang _"I love you, I love you, I love you", _over and over again as Archie became too lost in his own deed to realise that he was continually pressing down on the button, never letting the awful words escape from Ronnie's head, reminding her that her father would always feel the exact opposite of that towards his own daughter...

**Hope you guys enjoyed it! I hope you weren't too disturbed by what happened in the flashback and hope it was in character for Archie. If it seems too unrealistic then please tell me because I will take any kind of feedback. Thank you for reading! School on Monday so I'm not sure how regular updates will be! **

**Love Erin xx**


	9. Chapter 9 One of the Hardest Things

***creeps back into website* Did you miss me? :D**

**I am so sorry that I haven't written in what must be four months :O Wow, it makes it seem even worse when I write it down. I am sorry to the people who have been waiting for updates but I decided I had to update before my exams start at the end of January, so I hope you enjoy this chapter and haven't completely forgotten what the heck this story is about. So I hope you enjoy it and I promise to get back into writing this regularly.**

**Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!**

**Love Erin xx**

**X**

"_I love you, I love you, I love you," _was all Ronnie heard at home for the next few hours as Mia continued to hug her bear tightly.

"_Don't you think the poor thing'll need a rest, Mia?" _asked Ronnie, not hinting the real reason that she wanted the noise to stop.

"_No, she's supposed to do that, silly," _replied Mia, giving the bear yet another big hug.

"_If you say so," _smiled Ronnie, ruffling Mia's hair. _"Aren't you going to give her name then?"_

"_Mmmmm," _said Mia, her eyebrows furrowing in concentration. _"I dunno," _

"_Well come on then, you're the one who's always making up names for your toys," _laughed Ronnie as she watched Mia thinking hard about the decision.

And as Mia continued to stumble over names for her teddy, the next fifteen minutes involved the little girl shouting out random names and laughing hysterically over the ridiculousness of them.

"_Bob, Hammy, Teapot," _Mia exclaimed, not really understanding what she was saying, she just liked seeing her mother laughing at her jokes.

"_Come on Mia, there must be something," _said Ronnie, trying to disguise her laughter as she did.

"_Fine, fine," _Mia sighed, picking up the teddy to look at it directly in it's shiny blue eyes. _"I've got a name,"_

"_Oh really, you're not naming it after your dinner or something?" _joked Ronnie, lifting Mia over to sit on her lap.

"_Noooooooooo," _Mia emphasised, lying back against Ronnie's shoulder sleepily, as her bedtime drew nearer and the events of the day started to take a toll on her.

"_Well go on then, what did you decide?" _asked Ronnie, also lying back against the couch, stroking Mia's hair, smiling, expecting another silly answer from her.

"_Roxy," _Mia announced, smiling happily and making the bear dance up and down her legs.

Ronnie's blood ran cold at that one little word. Her heart-rate quickened. Her head felt dizzy and sore like the feeling you get when you take a deep breath in after emerging from the darkness of the bottom of the swimming pool. She didn't know if she had heard right, she prayed that she had just misheard what her daughter had said. She tried to trigger her brain and mouth into action but the words came out in a hoarse croak.

"_What did you say, sweety?" _asked Ronnie, almost in a whisper, hoping desperately that she had misheard.

Mia sighed._ "I said...Roxy, mummy," _replied Mia, not realising what effect this name had had on her mum.

And though it may have sounded stupid, Ronnie now desperately needed a tissue to get rid of the tears that she could feel building up but she couldn't let Mia see her like this.

"_Where...em," _she tried to ask. _"Where did you hear that name?" _she spluttered.

"_Don't you remember, Mummy," _questioned Mia. _"You were talking in your sleep last night," _she giggled, not realising that her mum wasn't laughing along with her.

"_Was I?" _Ronnie questioned desperately, unable to remember what her daughter was telling her.

"_Yeah, you shouted 'Roxy' and it woke me up," _Mia pouted.

"_Oh, right, okay, sorry sweety," _Ronnie couldn't really put together a sufficient reply. She was too busy trying to piece together the events from the night. She couldn't even recall falling asleep if she was honest with herself. Usually she was thinking so much about everything that was going on and terrified that Mia would start to fit that she often had a permanent headache at night and lay awake just staring into space until her eyes went blurry, her gaze fixing on the shadows from outside, slowly fading as the morning drew nearer.

"_Come on then missy, let's get you into bed," _Ronnie exclaimed, jumping up so quickly that her head spun with dizziness, as well as with the realisation of what had happened the previous night. She knew what was coming. Her voice was croaky, her eyes watered. It was no good...

"_Mummy...?" _Mia cried. _"What's the matter?" _she asked quietly, stroking her mum's hand.

Ronnie sighed. At first she didn't say a word. It wasn't because she didn't know what to say to answer Mia's question but she couldn't tell her little girl what was on her mind. She was too confused and fit-to-bursting with worry. And it was only for her to deal with. Not Mia...

So at that moment Ronnie did exactly what she would do till the day she died. She took care of her daughter; ignoring her own needs.

She gently took the pink hair clip out of Mia's soft blonde hair, lay her down flat on her back under the soft white sheets, made sure she had her new teddy bear secure...under the covers and kissed her on the forehead.

"_It's absolutely nothing for you to worry about, honey," _Ronnie whispered, switching the light off, and blowing a kiss to her as she left the room.

"_I love you Mummy," _called Mia in her adorable, sing-song voice.

Ronnie turned back around and smiled as her heart melted with love for her baby girl.

"_I love you too, my angel," _she replied, blowing another kiss and slowly closing Mia's bedroom door.

But Ronnie's expression couldn't have changed faster as she sat down at the kitchen table and poured herself a small glass of straight vodka. She stared at the clear liquid for a few minutes, swivelling it around in the glass, her eyes fixed on the tiny bubbles slowly rising to the surface. She knew she shouldn't drink with Mia so ill but...it was just so tempting. She just wanted to forget about the day. In just a few hours, Ronnie's mind had been tarnished with yet more horrible memories of her dreaded past and she hated it. She hated how these memories made her feel. Your childhood was supposed to be a happy time but what happy memories did Ronnie have from hers? Not that her adult life had been the most fortunate either. If Mia hadn't been born, Ronnie didn't know what she would have done, what with Archie and Glenda coming back to find her, Roxy...and Jack... And though the alcohol was meant to make Ronnie forget, it only made her start to remember why she had shouted _"Roxy"_ out in the middle of the night. It was a dream that had made her wake up physically shaking and sweating.

_She was back in Albert Square. The place she had called home for so long. But it could never been home; not properly. But even though she had tried her best to forget about Albert Square; the dream had seemed so vivid and real. Her entire family was there. Peggy, Phil, Ben, Roxy and even little Amy. They looked so happy together; all laughing and smiling like they didn't have a care in the world. Suddenly they all got up and began to walk towards her and Ronnie couldn't help but smile. They could be a proper family again; start over. But Ronnie's heart sank almost instantly. They didn't even recognise her; they just continued to walk along the street as if she was a complete stranger._

"_Peggy!" she called, desperately trying to gain her aunt's attention. But she ignored her and walked on by wrapping her arm around Ben's and smiling her usual smile at him. Phil trudged behind; even looking happy himself, things seemed so different now. But Ronnie couldn't let them get away._

"_Roxy," she called, as she saw her sister pick Amy up in her arms, stroking her blonde hair and talking to her sweetly, but she didn't respond to her sister's cries. Ronnie moved closer to her._

"_Roxy," she cried again, her voice sounding choked up and hoarse. But still Roxy ignored her. Ronnie had had enough._

"_Roxy! Talk to me, please!" she yelled, trying to grab her sister's arm. But at that moment, Ronnie got an even bigger shock when her hand went straight through her sister, just like a lonely, lost ghost._

"_No Roxy, please, help me! ROXY!" Ronnie shouted as the heavens opened and the rain poured down on her like bullets, the droplets merging with the tears that had started to fall down her face at the realisation that she was no longer a Mitchell. No longer part of that family. No longer part of the family that had hurt her so badly but the family that she still wanted to love..._

Ronnie jumped up fiercely as she had done when she had woken up from the dream that morning. She had hated reliving it just there but in a way it had helped...

Because Ronnie now realised what she had to do, no matter what. All day long, the doctor's words had been ringing in her ears; _"Myself and the nurses who have been observing Mia recently agree __that another cycle of chemotherapy is the best thing we can do to help her condition," _

It was like a continuous circle in her head and the longer she let it sit there without doing anything about it, the less time Mia had. The less time Ronnie had with her daughter and most of all, the less of chance that the Mitchell's had to meet Mia. That decided it. Ronnie had to contact them. She couldn't let her nightmare come true...

Ronnie took a deep breath in, picked up her phone and turned it on. She watched the screen come to life and light up until her eyes blurred. _Don't chicken out, _she told herself. _If you don't do this then you'll regret it..._

And before Ronnie was aware of what she was doing, she slowly began to type in the number of the Queen Vic Pub; the Mitchell's palace as many people called it. She hadn't been anywhere near Walford in four years now but even throwing away her old phone on the night she left couldn't make her forget the number.

Her hands were shaking as she went to press the green call button. She closed her eyes and began to breathe in and out very deeply. If she didn't do this now then...she knew she never would. She pressed call...

And as the dialling tone began to echo round the tiny, quiet kitchen, Ronnie's heart began to beat faster than usual, her palms were sweating, her head was spinning, but she didn't have time to think about it. Someone had answered the phone...

"_Queen Vic Pub, Walford, Roxy speaking," _

Ronnie's heart skipped a beat. It was her sister. The number hadn't changed. She was still there. Ronnie smiled to herself but her throat had run dry. No words were coming out; nothing. What was she going to do?

"_Hello?" _Roxy said, as usual sounding more irritated by the second what with her short temper but Ronnie couldn't bring herself to say anything. Tears start streaming down her face at the sound of her sister's voice and she desperately wanted to say something to her but nothing was happening. It had been too long for things to just go back to the way they were, she couldn't just expect everything to return to normal. Could she?

"_Oh very good mate, phone someone up and then hang up, very clever," _shouted Roxy down the phone in her instantly recognisable East-End voice, she had had enough of this person messing about.

Ronnie was just about to end the call and save herself from further upset and embarrassment but a voice at the end of the line caused her to stop immediately.

"_Mummy, you said you would read me a story!"_

Amy...her niece. The little girl she hadn't seen for four years. She would be six years old now. It broke Ronnie's heart at the realisation of what she left behind in Walford. Even although the things that had happened the day she left had caused her so much pain and devastation, she couldn't ignore the fact that she hadn't seen Amy in so long. Ronnie held her hand over her mouth so that Roxy wouldn't hear her crying.

"_Next time you want to prank call someone yeah, don't do it at half eight in the evening when __they're trying to get a little kid to sleep! Coming Amy!" _And the phone went dead with a mighty slam!

Ronnie jumped as Roxy slammed the phone down. She was gone. Her sister. Her Roxy. She so desperately wanted to take her in her arms, hugging and never letting her go, inhaling her expensive perfume and stroking her soft blonde hair. On the night she had left Walford, Roxy was the one person that she wanted to escape from for good but now with Mia and everything that had happened to her; Ronnie couldn't let the things from the past stand in her way.

And as Ronnie continued to cry into the night, she realised that she had to tell her family, she had to go back to them. She had to put those horrible memories of four years ago behind her. And most importantly, she had to tell them about Mia, about her daughter; before it was too late, but she knew without a doubt that it was going to be one of the hardest things she had ever done...

**Does everyone else hate what is in store for Ronnie in EE in a few days as much as me? They're ruining our lovely Ronnie. Grrrrrrr :(**

**Oh and I just wanted to point out that because I started writing this before Ronnie and Jack's marriage and baby etc, I am going to keep it that way so it is still the same as it was before. Ronnie is living away from Walford with Mia whilst everyone from her past: Peggy, Phil, Roxy, Jack are still in Albert Square. And Archie is still dead :)**

**Hope you enjoyed it! :)**


	10. Chapter 10 Watch Where You're Going

**Hello everyone! Apologies for the lack of updates but my laptop is broken and I have exams in May so I've been really busy. Anyway, I don't know if you guys think this but I was worried that this fic was moving quite slowly so hopefully this chapter will ****move it along a bit. Enjoy! I'll try and get another update up within the next week or two seeing as I'm off for Easter! Enjoy!**

Ronnie sighed deeply. It had seemed like it was going to be a peaceful night after she had put Mia to bed after calling Roxy. But it had been anything but…

First it was a headache. Then it was a nose bleed and vomiting. And before Ronnie knew it, she was in an ambulance with her daughter saying the prayer that she completely relied on whenever she wasn't sure of what going to happen to her, over and over again in her head.

It had been terrifying…

Mia had deteriorated so quickly that Ronnie had barely had time to figure out what was happening. But her brain sub-consciously registered what was going on and she had quickly dialled 999 as her daughter began to fit and shake violently in her arms.

It hadn't been this bad in so long…

And now Ronnie was at Mia's beside in the nearby children's hospital that she had just visited only a few days ago. It had been the longest night ever. Ronnie stroked Mia's tiny hand gently, making sure she avoided the IV drip that was feeding blood into the little girl's body after she lost so much just a few hours ago. It was so scary. Mia had tubes being fed through countless areas of her body; she had oxygen tubes fitted in her nose and her tiny eyes were clamped shut and creased as though she was having a nightmare as she slept.

And though Ronnie liked to pretend that she was a strong person, her eyes were red raw and painfully sore from the continuous hours of crying that night. Even now as Mia's condition had been stablised, she couldn't stop crying at the thought of what had just happened. There had been so much blood…Ronnie had no idea how it happened so quickly and her heart was still pounding violently from the fright…

Ronnie jumped as the nurse came into Mia's room.

"_Sorry Ms Mitchell, I didn't mean to startle you, I just need to take Mia's temperature," _said the nurse quickly, not wishing to stress this poor mother out anymore than was needed.

Although it couldn't be helped, she always hated it when their patients were children. Truthfully, the parents usually find it harder to cope and she always tried to make sure that their time in hospital was as easy to handle as possible for both the children and their parents.

"_Ms Mitchell….," _she began, after checking Mia's temperature.

"_Ronnie…" _the distressed mother replied quietly.

"_Sorry..Ronnie, why don't __you take a walk and get some fresh air?"_

Ronnie looked up, surprised at this random suggestion. She gripped Mia's hand tighter.

"_Only, Mia's doctor won't be down for another half an hour or so and I just thought that maybe…you could do with a break," _the nurse said, sensing the awkwardness in the room and immediately wishing she had kept her mouth shut.

Ronnie hesitated and looked back at her daughter. She was sound asleep, just as she would be at home. Even after all the trauma of the previous night, Mia looked surprisingly peaceful and it even made Ronnie smile. She hadn't even called Mia's school to alert them as to where she was. Ronnie thought carefully about it for a few minutes.

"_Okay," _she eventually replied, giving a small smile to the nervous nurse.

The nurse smiled back and carefully opened the door for Ronnie.

"_We'll alert you immediately if there is any sudden change in Mia," _she said, trust ignited in her massive brown eyes.

"_Thank you…" _began Ronnie.

"_Abby," _she shyly filled in.

"_Abby," _repeated Ronnie, exiting the room and taking one last look at her daughter.

"_Stay safe, baby," _she whispered, blowing a tiny kiss to her with her first finger and turning to walk down the long, shiny hospital corridor. She exhaled deeply and closed her eyes for a moment as she walked.

She barely knew where she was going but before she knew it she was on the ground floor beside the small shop that is always at the entrance of hospitals. You could instantly tell that this was a children's hospital. Every seating area was surrounded by toys and games; cheerful music played quietly in the background and there were cartoon characters painted all over the walls which Mia loved. But Ronnie did her best to walk past them quickly. The giant brown bear on the wall always freaked her out. And whilst it didn't really look the one she had, it reminded her too much of her father and what he used to do to her…

Ronnie jumped. Strangely, a bouncy ball had just hit her on the back of the leg. She picked it up quickly and looked around the reception to found out where it had come from. Sure enough, a tiny figure appeared behind her and tugged on her black jacket.

Ronnie turned around. She knew this child. It was Jake. Mia's friend from the children's ward. She hadn't seen him in a long time but she knew it was him because of his gorgeous green eyes. But she couldn't help being surprised. The last time she had seen him, he had a full head of sandy, curly hair and now…nothing.

Jake smiled politely and said _"Hi Ronnie," _in his adorable, sing-song voice.

"_Hi there, Jake," _she smiled quietly, not wanting to let the tears that were forming escape at the thought of how much his cancer had also deteriorated.

"_Can I have my ball back please, sorry it hit you?"_

"_Of course you can sweetheart," _she gushed, gently placing it in his tiny hand.

"_Thank you, say hi to Mia for me," _he called as he ran back to sit beside his mum who was waiting at the reception.

Ronnie swallowed deeply. It was such a shock to see such a drastic change in Jake.

"_It won't be long before Mia looks like that," _hissed the voice inside her head.

Ronnie jumped.

"_It won't be long before she lo__ses all of her lovely blonde hair," _it whispered again.

"_Shut up," _Ronnie thought. _"Shut up, shut up,"_

"_You know you can't avoid it Veronica, it's going to happen," _spat the voice.

"_No!" _she yelled, right in the middle of the waiting room, causing people to stare.

Ronnie looked around, embarrassed.

"_You better get back to her__, Veronica, you never know when she might just…..slip away," _it laughed, causing a pulse to form in her temple.

"_I won't let you," _she thought. _"You're not taking my little girl away from me,"_

Ronnie broke into a sprint. She ran towards the stairs. Mia was on the 7th floor but she didn't have time to wait for the lift. She charged up the steep flights of stairs, giving it all the energy she had left. She couldn't let the voice get there before her.

Several other people were using the stairs and she could feel them staring at her unusual actions but she didn't care. Mia needed her…

She reached the 7th floor. She burst as hard as she could through the double doors, ignoring the searing pain now running through her arm.

She turned the corner and WHAM!

"_Oww," _she cried, stroking her head where she had bumped into someone coming round the corner and breathing heavily after the huge run. She didn't even bother to look up at the poor person as she picked up her belongings and placed them back in her handbag.

"_You ought to watch where you're going, you know," _said a man's voice, as he began to help her pick up the things.

"_I'm sorry, I just__..," _she looked up, ready to face the music, but suddenly dropped the bag in surprise…

The man gasped. _"Ronnie….?" _he gasped.

Ronnie couldn't believe what she was seeing. It couldn't be….but it was. She triggered her mouth into action…

"_Jack?__"….., she whispered, unable to believe her eyes….._

***gasp* Haha. I couldn't wait to add this bit of the story in :D I really hope you enjoyed this chapter. Sorry if things have been moving a bit slowly and sorry for the lack of updates but hopefully that cliffhanger has shocked you all a bit :D**

**Hope you enjoyed it :D**

**Erin xxx**


	11. Chapter 11 It's Been Four Years

**Hello there. Well, it's been a long time; over a year in fact. I feel so bad and I'm so sorry to those who regularly reviewed this fic and were waiting for an update. My last year of school was just so busy but now I'm finished and looking forward to doing English and French at uni in September. I really wanted to update this and so here it is.**

**In case you've forgotten, which you probably have, in the last chapter, Ronnie's daughter Mia (my own character that I've created) is in hospital after the brain tumour that she has, caused her to have a near fatal seizure. Ronnie was making her way back to her daughter's room when she accidentally ran into someone. And that someone was in fact Jack Branning who she hasn't seen in 4 years. Dun dun dun! **

**Again, apologies to those who were waiting for an update for this and I really hope to upload new chapters on a regular basis. So here you, Chapter 11 of Please Save My Angel! If you like it, please review but feel free to also give constructive criticism. **

**P.S. Remember that this is meant to be set before the whole plot with James and Peggy leaving and everything. So Archie is dead, James was never born and all the Mitchells still live in Walford, including Peggy.**

"_Ronnie, is that really you?" _Jack asked, speaking in almost a whisper, blinking continually as if unable to believe what he was seeing. He hadn't seen this woman in so long and now here she was, standing in front of her. She really hadn't changed since the last time he saw her and she was still just as beautiful. His heart was pounding furiously. Why on earth was she at a children's hospital?

"_What are you doing here, Ron?" _was the first question that escaped his lips.

"_Jack…I…" _Ronnie spluttered. Where the heck was she supposed to begin? All those painful memories that haunted her at night came flooding back, making anger and sadness bubble up inside her until she could no longer stand it. _"I can't do this," _

Without even saying goodbye or questioning why Jack himself was at a children's hospital, Ronnie sprinted up the shiny corridor, not caring if she slipped on the newly polished floors. She knew she had to get away from there. She couldn't be forced to remember what had happened. She didn't want to remember. Never again would she be made to endure all that.

She could hear Jack calling her name and people staring as she ran round the corner to Mia's room. She prayed that her daughter was still asleep so that she couldn't hear her mum crying.

"_RONNIE! Wait!" _called Jack. He was coming after her. He was still just as stubborn as he was four years ago. He was going to catch her and everything would be exposed. Everything would have to be explained. But something entirely different made her stop dead.

"_MUMMY!"_ A deadly shriek echoed from the other side of the long corridor. Ronnie recognised her daughter's voice instantly but terrifyingly, this wasn't a normal call for attention. That scream went right through Ronnie as if she could almost feel her daughter's pain. Machines began to bleep furiously as she made it to Mia's room. She was shaking violently in her bed, more so than she had been at the flat. Her eyes began to roll back in her head and the blood wouldn't stop flowing from her nose and mouth.

"_Mia," _Ronnie cried, at first trying to act calm but the blood just wouldn't stop and she couldn't help but scream as the little girl started to fall out of bed with the force of the fit. Doctors soon rushed in at the sound of the machines and Ronnie was dragged out the room by a frantic nurse. This has happened on so many occasions before but never like this. Never had Ronnie started to cry so uncontrollably at the sight of her daughter's deteriorating condition that she couldn't bring herself to stop.

She backed up against the wall but the force of her screams and tears meant she couldn't make herself stand up and she started to fall to the ground, her whole world collapsing before her.

She heard herself cry _"my baby" _over and over again at the thought that this might be it. This might be the time that her illness finally claimed her life. She hadn't even had the chance to say goodbye. And now she was going to lose her.

Ronnie began to slide further and further to the ground, her nails scratching against the colourful wall, her legs completely giving way. That was until she felt someone pick her and force her into their arms.

At first she was confused. Was she dreaming? Had her massive outburst knocked her out? She couldn't bear to look up to see what the doctors were doing to Mia but there was no denying that scent that surrounded her; the after shave that she used to buy him for Christmas every single year as one of his stocking fillers.

"_It's alright Ronnie…They've got her…She's safe…"_ whispered Jack, nestling Ronnie deeper into her shoulder, never wanting to let her go. She was safe in his arms now and Jack wanted to make sure that he never lost the love of his life ever again.

Ronnie carefully stroked Mia's hand as she always did when she fell into a deep sleep. That last fit had definitely been her worst to date but the doctors had intervened at exactly the right time and managed to save her. It had been so frightening. Ronnie was still breathing heavily from the worry that she could possibly have lost her little girl if they hadn't acted so quickly.

She was dreaming in her own little world until a cup of tea appeared beside her on the table next to Mia's bed. Jack was back.

"_You alright?" _Jack asked, but he regretted asking such a stupid question the minute he said it.

Ronnie said nothing and instead continued to watch over Mia as if she thought another fit would start without her watchful gaze.

"_Ron…I…"_

"_Do you really want me to have to explain this…?" _Ronnie hissed, so as not to wake Mia up.

"_I'm sorry Ronnie but…" _Jack hesitated.

"_What?" _she replied furiously.

"_It **has** been four years,"_

"_Jack. You do realise she almost died...I nearly lost her tonight."_

"_I know and I'm so sorry" _He paused for a few minutes before uttering _"so she is yours?"_

Ronnie sighed and looked Jack in the eyes for the first time in ages. Classic Jack. Always asking the most stupid and yet awkward questions at the wrong time.

"_Yes, she's my daughter. Her name's Mia and in case you hadn't noticed, she has a deadly brain tumour that could kill her at any second…" _Ronnie spat, pushing the chair back and squaring up to Jack. _"So I'd appreciate it if you'd leave before she wakes up…what are you even doing here, Jack?"_

Jack was scarcely taking all of this in. He'd just been reunited with the love of his life, only to find out that she had a daughter that no one knew about and who was seriously ill. His head was spinning and he had so many questions to ask but he knew he had to keep the peace to get straight answers out of her: _"I needed to pick up some antibiotics for Amy. This was the nearest place I could get them."_

Ronnie's heart thumped at the mention of her niece's name. _"Amy….oh my gosh, is she okay?" _Ronnie's eye began to blink furiously to fight back tears.

"_She's fine. She just needs specialist medicine for a chest infection," _Jack sighed. He turned back to Mia. _"Clearly not as serious as the state of this little one...how old is she anyway, like 2 or 3?_

Ronnie opened her mouth but a nurse entered to check Mia's temperature.

"_Sorry to interrupt," _a quiet voice muttered. It was Abby. _"But we think Mia will need to stay with us for a few more nights so we can monitor her condition."_

Ronnie sighed and thanked her for informing her. She walked over to her bag and checked the stuff she had for Mia. Nowhere near enough pairs of pyjamas. She zipped the bag shut furiously.

"_Everything alright?" _Jack questioned, hating seeing her in such distress.

"_Fine," _she uttered angrily. _"I just need more clothes for her, that's all."_

Jack could still read her like a book. _"You don't want to leave her though do you?"_

Ronnie stared at him. _"She's just had a near-fatal fit, so clearly not."_

"_Okay, okay, it's fine. Calm down," _he said gently, speaking softly to her. _"I could go," _he offered.

Ronnie looked puzzled.

"_We haven't seen each other in four years and you're offering to go shopping for me,"_

"_You look exhausted Ron. I haven't seen you in so long and I can already tell that you're struggling. I just want to help." _he sighed, trying to reconcile. He knew that Ronnie would probably never forgive him but he had to try and get sensible answers from her.

"_Classic Jack, always wanting to get into people's good books to get what he wants."_

He looked confused. Ronnie took one last glance at Mia and dragged Jack by the arm out into the corridor.

"_Don't pretend that you're not playing a game here, Jack. I know you too well," _she hissed, poking him in the arm with her long, pointy nail.

"_What the heck are you talking about; I'm just trying to help you, you won't even tell me what age Mia is or how I can help" _he shouted back.

"_This is one of the reasons why I left, Jack, why do you have to make things so difficult, for God's sake?" _Ronnie spat, getting more and more agitated.

"_Well do you think you could do the decent thing and actually tell me what those reasons were exactly? Tell me Ronnie, why haven't you got in contact with me for four years, huh?_

Ronnie fell silent. Why did she have to see Jack again? Why did all these painful memories have to come rushing back? Why was he forcing her to remember?

**Sorry that this chapter isn't that great. I'm a little bit rusty and probably rushed it. I will gladly take constructive criticism because I'm just trying to get back into character and would love to know what I could work on. Hopefully future chapters will be better and I'll get back into the story.**

**Thanks for reading and please review **

**Love Erin xxx**


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